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Kailyn's long fan ficton. (done now!)sorry i changed it!
Sebastien Lefebvre's life from 14 to 28!
CHAPTER 1: LIFE IN ARMSTRONG, BC, CANADA FROM ME AT LEAST.............................
“Guys, what’s up?” I said walking into the bathroom.
“Get out of here, Seb! You’re not welcomed in this bathroom!” Pierre yelled.
“Uh… It’s the boys’ bathroom and I’m a boy so why wouldn’t I be aloud in the bathroom?” I asked. “You’re just not welcomed in here Sebastien Lefebvre! Now leave before they find out!” Pierre said leaning against the wall.
“Who finds out?” I asked.
“Them…” Pierre said as I look behind me, Hi guys… “Hello Pierre Charles Bouvier! You know you need to leave, both of you leave!” Chuck yelled. Pierre grabs my shirt, drags me out of the bathroom, we walk down the hall.
“Why’d he call you your full name?” I asked.
“Because the geek we thought was our friend is a bully now…”
“We can’t go to the bathroom because that’s his one or something?” I asked.
“Ya actually dude, we can’t go in there anymore…” Pierre said sighing.
“But where are we gonna go then?” I asked.
”A different bathroom…” Pierre said shrugging.
“Guys!” David yelled coming up to us.
“Sup, David!” I said.
“What’s up, David?” Pierre said.
“It’s chuck…” David said.
“Wow, what about him?” Pierre said.
“He has Benji, Joel, Jeff, Billy, Dean, Paul & Patrick…” David said.
“He has them? Where would he have them?” I asked. “In his personal bathroom where else! He’s keeping them hostage!” David explained.
“Dude, that’s bad!” Pierre said.
“He’s a real bully now…” I said.
“No doubt dude, we gotta go get him and beat him up to make sure he becomes a geek and our friend again…” Pierre said as we walk into the bathroom. “You 2 again and you brought Mr ‘scream like a little girl and run’” Chuck said.
“I didn’t scream… I just ran…” David said.
”Same thing, what do you 3 want?” Chuck said.
“Chuck, we’re gonna teach you a lesson about bulling…” Pierre said walking up to him.
“What do we do exactly, Pierre?” I said.
“Ya Pierre. Oh wait… you bulled Chuck before I guess you do what you did then…” David said. “Okay, time for your beating Chuck…” Pierre said and beats Chuck up, we leave the bathroom and we go to our classroom because its lunch so we’re just messing around, the other dudes follow. “That was really mean but it saved us so good job, Pierre!” David said. We look and Mr Martin comes in the room. “Were you boys in the washroom?” Mr Martin asked. We all look at him nervously, he stares us down like an evil man.
“Ya…” The 10 of us fourteen year old boys said.
“Mr Martin, Pierre beat me up!” Chuck yelled as he came into the room, Mr Martin looks at him then stares at Pierre.
“They helped me, Mr Martin!” Pierre yelled.
”He was saving Benji, Paul, Deano, Billy & I from being beaten up by Chuck!” Joel said.
“It’s true, Mr Martin!” The 4 other guys of GC said. Mr Martin continues to stare at Pierre.
“Come on, Seb and David was helping me beat him up so was Jeff!” Pierre said. Jeff and David ran away, they were waving from outside, Pierre shook his fist at them without Mr Martin noticing.
“Well Seb helped me beat Chuck up, the other guys didn’t…” Pierre explained.
“Ya… But Joel, Benji, Deano, Paul and lil Billy didn’t have anything to do with it, Mr Martin… Pierre and I did it all…” I said.
“Okay, you 5 are free to go… Pierre and Seb, come with me…” Mr Martin said as the guys walked away. “Yes, Mr Martin…” Pierre and I said. Mr Martin walks ahead of us, Pierre stares at Chuck.
“What? Is Pierre mad at me because I got him in trouble?!?! Aw poor Pierre!” Chuck said. Pierre punches him, I stare at him.
“Just keep walking Seb, don’t look back! He’ll never believe you, Chuck!” Pierre said as we follow Mr Martin to the office, we go into the principal’s office, get suspended for 2 weeks, we leave the office with Mr Martin.
“Now boys, you stay for the last period like everyone else… Your parents will be hearing about this when I phone them… Now go hang out with your group of friends…” Mr Martin explained.
“Yes, Mr Martin…” Pierre and I said and we go find the guys with Chuck & Pat and David & Jeff who ran away in the first place…
“Sup, guys?” I said watching Chuck staring at us. He had a black eye from Pierre punching him.
“I hate you, Pierre Bouvier!!!!” Chuck yelled.
“I love you too, Chuck…” Pierre said and gives him a big hug Chuck elbows him in the balls, Owe… Chuck, that’s how much I know you love me.
“Enough for him to elbow you in the balls, Pierre?” I asked looking at him.
”Ya…” Pierre said holding his balls, “I’m fine… It just really hurts…”
“Pierre Bouvier and Chuck Comeau, come to the office please. Pierre Bouvier and Chuck Comeau come to the office.” A voice over the PA system said.
“What’d you do now, Chuckles?” Pierre yelled.
“You actually punched me and gave me a black eye and I just elbowed you in the balls… Oh shit, we’re in trouble…” Chuck said. They walk to the office. They come to class after lunch.
“What is it now, guys?” I asked sitting on a desk. “We both got suspended… Just for getting in a little fight…” Chuck said sitting on the desk next to me…
“Ya… I’m already suspended… Now I have to do 2 and half weeks of it… What the hell are my parents gonna say?”
We walk home and Pierre stops in front of his house, takes a deep breath, hugs us all good bye, goes into his house, we heard his parents yelling at him. “Wow, how are my parents gonna react?” Chuck asked out loud.
“Well Mr ‘I never get suspended’, your parents cant be that proud of you now... Plus the black eye really makes a good touch...” I said. He stares at me, takes a deep breath, hugs us all good bye, goes into his house a couple houses down from Pierre’s, goes in and gets yelled at.
“Ouch...” I said and go home, mom staring at me as I take my shoes off, drop my backpack and go to the kitchen.
“Oh hi mom...” I said getting a cup and the milk and pouring milk into the glass.
“Hello sweetie, how was school?” She asked sitting beside me at the table.
“Good… Why do you ask, mom?” I asked…
“Well your teacher, Mr Martin, called and told me what happened at school today… You and Pierre got in a fight with Chuck didn’t you, honey?” She said.
“Ya… But I only got suspended for 2 weeks! Pierre got suspended too! For 2 weeks and a half cause of what he and Chuck did to each other…” I explained.
“Well what’d they do to each other?” Mom asked.
“Uh… When we were fighting, Pierre got him right in the eye giving him a black eye and when we were on the way to the office with Mr Martin… Chuck yelled ‘I hate you, Pierre Bouvier!!!’ and Pierre was like ‘I love you too, Chuck!’ and gave him a big hug and well… Chuck elbowed Pierre in the balls…” I explained… I chug my milk, “So how much trouble am I in, Mom?” I burped.
“Excuse you son that was good but unpleasant…” A voice behind me said. I turned around.
“DAD!” I yelled, stood up and hugged him. I haven’t seen my dad in 2 years, “What are you doing here?”
“Well son, your mom and I decided you’re old enough to come live with your old man…” Dad explained, “You come to the house during school days, come to my apartment after school and go home at 9, go to bed and get up for school and on the weekends, you’re hanging with me buddy…” Mom and I both looked at him like this was all some big joke.
“Dad, I’m suspended for 2 weeks…” I said sitting down, “I’m kicked out of school for 2 weeks…”
“I know Seb, I’m disappointed in you. I can’t believe you would get in a fight with your friend. Whatever your mother wants, you do it for her!” Dad yelled at me.
“Now Seb, your dad explained how it’s gonna be but not for 2 weeks. The 2 weeks you’re suspended, you’re stuck in the house. You may play your video games, talk to your friends, go to the park and hang out with them. I don’t want you to do anything that will get you in trouble!” Mom explained.
“Yes mom, can I go up to my room now?” I asked quietly.
“Yes sweetie, you may…” Mom said and I went up to my room then I heard, “I don’t know………, I think we might have yelled at him too much…” I heard them talking and then walk towards me. I close my door.
“Seb! Come say good bye to your dad, you wont be seeing him for 2 weeks.” Mom yelled up the stairs.
“I don’t care mom, I haven’t seen him in 2 years and you’re rubbing it in my face for the next 2 weeks!” I yelled blasting my guitar and singing ‘Perfect’. I sing along to the demo CD I have.
CHAPTER 2: LIFE SUCKS WHEN I CAN SEE MY FRIENDS BUT NOT MY OWN FATHER.
Okay, what I mean is like life sucks when I can’t see my own dad and can see my friends who I’m in a band with. Pierre phoned about an hour after I went into my room. I answered my phone.
“Yo Pierre, what’s up?” I said into the phone.
“Seb! You have to help me dude, my parents kicked me out of the house for the next 2 and a half weeks when I’m suspended from school!” Pierre said, “DUDE, ask your mom if I can stay over at your place for that long…” I put my hand on my head.
“Okay Pierre com down, when are you getting kicked out?” I asked.
“Well mainly, my mom and dad are throwing my clothes in a suitcase, my IPOD, laptop, and those kind of things. I have my backpack with that stuff. My dad pushed me out and my mom started crying and gave me my backpack and suitcase…” Pierre explained, “Can I come over to your house? I think it is gonna… It’s raining…” I shook my head, walked down stairs, went up to my mom.
“Hey mom, Pierre just got kicked out of his house and it’s starting to rain so can he come here for a little while?” I asked in a best kid voice I have.
“Well of course, Pierre may stay here. But when does he go home?” Mom asked.
“In 2 and half weeks…” I said quietly…
“Okay, he can stay here for a week…” Mom said and went back to watching TV.
“Thank you, mom. Pierre says thanks.” I said going into the pink room and looking outside, “Pierre, you better hurry up… I think a storms coming.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a couple minutes.” Pierre said and hung up his cell phone. I hang up the phone and stare outside. A couple minutes later, I see a really wet Pierre coming up to the door. I slip on some shoes and go outside.
“Dude, you got kicked out for getting suspended. That’s seriously low!” I said as I grabbed his suitcase and we went inside the house. Mom comes up to him.
“Hello Pierre, I was expecting you to be in trouble but not that much that it gets you kicked out…” She said and toke his coat to the coat room, “Come in and get warm honey, actually get some warm clothes on and I’ll make some hot chocolate for you. Seb, you may go up to your room with Pierre and his bags into the guest room.” I nod and take Pierre and his bags up to the guest room. Pierre claps on the bed.
“Dude, thank you for letting me stay here. I don’t think the other guys would have let me…” Pierre said, “You always take me in cause your mom’s so…”
“Nice and doesn’t ground me no matter what I do?” I asked. He nodded and toke his wet sweater and t-shirt off. He gets a clean Role Model t-shirt on.
“Leave or you’re gonna see me in a really bad pair of boxers, Seb!” Pierre said.
“How bad are they?” I asked.
“Uh… they are ripped up and they are superman boxers…” Pierre said sighing.
“Okay I’ll leave then…” I said shutting the door behind me. He comes out a couple minutes later.
“Why do your jeans look non-baggy, dude?” I asked.
“I have them pulled up…” Pierre said walking down the stairs. Mom gave him some hot chocolate and some marshmallows and we watched some TV.
“Seb! When’d you get Rockband!?!?!” Pierre asked finishing his hot chocolate.
“Dude, I got it on Saturday…” I said, “You wanna play it?” He nodded and grabs the mic. I turned on the WII, went to the right channel and put it onto the game. I pick guitar and Pierre sings.
“Do it, Seb!” Pierre yells into the mic. I start playing the guitar and Pierre starts singing.
CHAPTER 3: A WEEK WITH PIERRE! AHH.......
Well we just stopped playing Rockband… Pierre’s voice went to awesome to awful… We’re going to bed… It’s 2 in the morning on a Friday night…
“Good night Pierre, have a good long sleep…” I said walking out of the bathroom. He closed the door. I could hear him peeing… I close my door take my shirt off and climb into my bunk bed. I fall asleep. I hear the toilet flush like 5 times during the night… I fell fast asleep and dreamt I was on a river on a wood thing. Everywhere there was water… At this point, I remembered how much pop I drank… So I float for like 10 minutes holding myself. I got up finally, climbed down from my bunk bed, went into the bathroom, stood there peeing with the door closed but apparently not locked. Pierre walked in on me…
“Seb? Why are you peeing with the door opened?” He asked standing there staring at me… I finished and flushed. I washed my hands and left the bathroom. Pierre shrugged at me and went into the bathroom.
“See Seb, this is how you lock it!” He said, “There, you can’t walk in on me peeing!”
“Shut up Pierre, you did that just too fuckin piss me off!” I yelled into the bathroom and slammed my door. I get back into bed and try to fall asleep cause well it’s like 8 in the morning on a Saturday. I can’t fall asleep so I turned my music on quietly cause I know my mom’s still sleeping I think and get my book out. I write all about my day with Pierre… Well Pierre just barged into my room.
“What do you want Pierre?” I said looking up at him from my drawings.
“Whatcha doin, Seb?” Pierre said looking over my shoulder.
“Drawing, what are you doing Pierre?” I asked.
“Well, whatcha drawin?” Pierre asked.
“Your face! Now get out of my room!” I said trying to make him leave, “No wonder the other guys don’t want you to live with them! You’re freakin annoying! I don’t want you to bug me 24/7 Pierre, if you’re gonna stay here then don’t or you’re out!” I pushed him out and went back to drawing. I got really hungry so I went downstairs at like 10am where Pierre is watching TV.
“Decided to come out of your room, Seb?” Pierre asked, “Chuck, Pat, Jeff and David all called here today…”
“Why would they call so early?” I asked.
“Well Chuck wants to call a band meeting at his place… Pat wants to know if you wanna hang out after the meeting. David and Jeff both asked if they could have something…” Pierre explained.
“What do they want this time?” I asked.
“David wants a guitar pick and Jeff wants his acoustic guitar back…” Pierre said. I shrugged. I got my self a bowl of lucky charms. Pierre got his self on too.
“Listen Seb, sorry for earlier… I saw the light on and I knew you were in there cause your door was open… I did it just to piss you off…” Pierre said.
“It’s okay dude, you didn’t see anything right?” I said.
“No I didn’t see anything buddy, don’t worry…” He said.
“So when’s the band meeting at Chuck’s place?” I asked eating the last of my marshmallows.
“Uh… Around like 4 I think, his mom wants us to stay for supper but no one can…” Pierre said. I put my dishes in the dishwasher and Pierre did the same. I lay on the couch and Pierre sat in the chair. We watched TV until mom come and turned it off.
“MOM! We were watching that!” I said sitting up.
“I know boys, but I talked to Chuck’s mom and she says that band meeting is at 3 now.” Mom said.
“Well okay, now let us watch TV please mom!” I said.
“No, Sebastien! Go shower and get clean clothes on!” Mom yelled at me, “Pierre, you can shower after Sebastien does.” Pierre and I both nod. We go upstairs. I show Pierre how to start the shower and turn it off. I get clean clothes and go into the bathroom. I get my dirty clothes off and get into the shower. A couple minutes later, I get out. I dry myself off, get my clean clothes on, open the door and throw my dirty clothes down. I go into my room, put deodorant on and go into the computer room.
“Pierre, get in the shower. We got a half hour before the meeting at chuck’s… My mom will know if you didn’t shower!” I said. He shrugged and got off the computer. I go onto the computer and start talking to Pat.
Pat-Yo Seb! Waz up dog?
Seb-Yo Patty Patrick… I just toke a pee and had a shower. Pierre’s taking a shower and a piss probably now…
Pat-too much info, buddy…
Seb-I know Patty, that’s why I said that!!!
Pat-I knew you would say that…
Seb-Maybe you know too much Patty!
Pat-Stop freakin calling me that!
Seb-What, Patty?
Pat-STOP!
Seb-What am I calling you, Patty?
Pat-Fine, you wanna play it that way… FINE!
Seb-Aww… What’s Patty gonna do?
Pat-I’m not gonna do anything, Sebby mc Sebster!
Seb-PATRICK! I THINK I HATE YOU!
Pat-Aww… I love you too, Sebby mc Sebster!
Seb-Patty… I love you too… Patty mc Patterson!
Pat-Okay let’s stop that… You and me are hanging after the band meeting today?
Seb-YOU know we are… Are you bringing your camera?
Pat-Duhh!
Seb-Awesome… I gotta go dude. Pierre & I are heading over to Chuck’s. Cya there, Patty!
Pat-Okay, Sebby mc Sebster. I love you buddy!
Seb-Right back at you, Patty mc Patterson!
I sign off the computer and go downstairs. Pierre putting his skate shoes on. I slip mine on. I tell mom we’re leaving and we leave though the garage.
“Did your mom and dad let you have your skateboard or bike or anything?” I asked grabbing my skateboard. Pierre shook his head…
“I think my dad throw them in the backyard and said I could come by today and grab them…” Pierre said.
“Well should we go get them?” I asked.
“Sure… But how do I ride a bike and skateboard?” Pierre asked. I put my hand on my hands.
“Dude, you carry the skateboard and ride the bike but since you have me. I’ll carry your skateboard and you ride your bike…” I explained. We walked over to Pierre’s house, he went into the backyard and grabbed his bike and carried his skateboard out. He handed it to me.
“I’d rather skate but it’s cool. Can we put my bike in your garage though?” Pierre asked and I nod. We go to my house again, he parks his bike beside mine and I hand him his skateboard. Off to Chuck’s house to have the band meeting… No one knows why…
CHAPTER 4: THE BAND MEETING AT CHUCK'S HOUSE.
So we just got to Chuck’s and rang the doorbell.
“Guys, you’re late!” Chuck yelled as we came in the door and set our skateboards. We take off our shoes and go sit with the other guys on the couches.
“Now that Pierre and Seb are here, I want to tell you why I brought you here…” Chuck said being all serious like he is, “Pierre stop it!” Pierre stopped doing the ‘blah blah blah’ signs with his hands. I stared at him then back at Chuck. He just went on and on about the fight at school. Pierre and Chuck got in a fight but we had to break it up…
“Pierre, you’re the trouble kid this band doesn’t need! ALL YOU DO IS BEAT ME UP & GET IN TROUBLE!” Chuck yelled at Pierre and he shrugged, “DUDE, YOU ARE OUT!” We all stand up with Pierre… Pierre starts fighting him again.
“WHAT!” We all yell. We break the fight up.
“Chuck! Are you out of your fuckin mind!?!?” David yelled in Chuck’s face.
“Ya dude, Pierre’s the lead singer of this band! If we don’t have Pierre, we don’t have a band…” Jeff said. We all sit on the couches again.
“Chuck, you’re not the best drummer but you’re a drummer and that’s all that matters!” Pierre said.
“Aww touching… NOT!” Chuck said.
“Guys! If we don’t have Pierre, we SERSOILY don’t have a band…” I yelled. The guys looked at me.
“Thank you Seb, Chuck they all want me to stay!” Pierre said, “Even Pat…” Pat nods and keeps filming us having one of our many fights…
“Okay guys, no one’s on Chuck’s side right?” Pierre asked.
“NO ONE’S ON HIS SIDE, PIERRE!” We all yelled.
“Fine, you lost your self a drummer then! Now, get out of my house… I don’t know you anymore!” Chuck yelled and we grabbed our stuff and left. We walked and stood on the sidewalk for a second.
“What just happened?” David asked after a minute of silence.
“We just lost our drummer… I think…” Pierre said.
“But how?” I asked...
“We’re all on Pierre’s side…” Jeff said, “Its Pierre’s fault!” We all look at Pierre.
“What? How is it my fault!?!? He wants to fight with me!” Pierre explained, “You have to blame him!” We stare at him...
“That’s all I got, guys… I’m sorry I let the band down…” Pierre said and skateboarded back to my house.
“Pierre!” The guys all yelled for him expect me.
“Don’t worry guys, I’ll talk to him…” I said, “Pat, I think I should talk to him and if I have time I’ll phone you to hang.” Pat nodded and put his camera down slowly.
“How bout I come over and film you?” Pat asked.
“NO!” I yelled and skateboarded home. I went into the house and mom stopped me.
“Hey honey, how’d the band meeting go?” She asked.
“Can I explain later please mom? Pierre’s upstairs in the guest room, really mad at something…” I said, “PLEASE! I’ll explain it all to you later!” I run upstairs and knock on the guest room door.
“GO AWAY!” Pierre yelled.
“Pierre, come on dude. Can I come in?” I asked nicely.
“So you can blame me for losing our one and only drummer? No thank you!” Pierre said.
“Pierre, look… I’m not blaming you… But if you don’t wanna talk to me, then who do you wanna talk to?” I asked, “Can I please come in?”
“Ya… It’s open…” Pierre said as I opened the door and closed it behind me, “Dude I didn’t make Chuck quit, he wanted to kick me out so I guess I turned the whole band against him…”
“You know that we were on your side but if it was between you and chuck… I donno who’d we choice…” I said, “Anyways, who do you wanna talk to if you don’t wanna talk to me or any of the other guys?”
“Well I know it’s impossible but I wanna talk to Chuck… Or the other option is Jay my bro…” Pierre said.
“Wow you’re not makin it easy for me, aren’t you?” I asked and he shook his head and barred his head into his pillow, “Come on bro, you’re my brother from another mother. How do you not want to talk to me! Your brother from another mother!”
“Dude, cut it out… Please…” Pierre said.
“What am I doing?” I asked.
“DUDE CUT IT OUT!” Pierre yelled.
“What am I doing, Pierre?” I asked.
“STOP!” Pierre yelled as I did something to him.
(I was tickling where I know he’s ticklish.)
“Okay then talk to me cause YOU KNOW I can’t get Chuck or Jay to talk to you!” I said continuing.
“Dude, fine! I’ll talk to you brother from another mother, now stop it or I’ll fight you back!” Pierre said. I still tickled him and he started to tickle me where I’m ticklish the most.
“AHH!!!” I yelled. We had a tickle fight and we ended up in our boxers cause I donno but still we ended up in t-shirts and boxers only. At least we put our shorts back on before my mom walked in.
“Boys, what’s all the screaming up here?” She asked.
“Nothing…” Pierre & I said.
“Just a little brotherly fight, mom.” I said.
“Pierre’s not your brother…” She said.
“Ya I know, he’s my brother from another mother. Trust me, mom that’s how we talk in the band.” I said. She nodded and we all went down stairs.
“Sebastien! Pull your pants up!” Mom yelled.
“Mom, this is the style these days!” I said, “And it’s not like there’s anything going on tonight…”
“Dude, that’s too much… You can see them cause your t-shirt’s not long enough…” Pierre whispered to me. I pull them up a little bit. We hear Rockband going.
“Who’s playing Rockband, mom?” I asked.
“Your friends, honey…” She said. Pierre and I look at each other and go into the living room.
“Hey Pierre, come sing!” Chuck said.
“Seb, come play guitar!” Jeff said handing me the guitar. I take it from him.
“So all that stuff…” Pierre said to Chuck.
“Hey I quit the band, no one said I couldn’t play Rockband with you guys still.” Chuck said and Pierre punches him. We all go into band tour mode, we all connect and play a hole set. Jeff toke over for me cause I had to pee… bad… I went into the bathroom and closed the door. Wow, I have a lot to think about tonight… I pee, wash my hands, go into the living room and sing with Pierre. Pierre holds the mic to me and I sing the little part.
“Awesome Seb, you should sing more!” David said as I stare at him, “What? You should…”
“You toke over the back vocals David, I cant sing that much… I have to play guitar too…” I said. So for the rest of the day, we played Rockband. Pat filmed it all… The guys slept over and we all slept on the floor or couches during a movie and fell asleep during the movie...
CHAPTER 5: THE DAY WE ALL HAVE A HANG OVER TYPE THING… WE DRANK POP ALL NIGHT TO STAY AWAKE AND IT DIDN’T WORK ON ANY OF US…
So we all wake up with headaches. Mom thinks it was just cause we did all the gaming late last night.
“Mom, the guys are going home… Pierre and I gonna walk them home!” I said and we left.
“Dude what the hell did we do last night to deserve this?” Pierre asked half way to Chuck’s.
“I donno dude, but I don’t remember anything.” I said…
“It’s all a hang over…” Jeff said. We all looked over at him. He’s the older one in the band and he knows most of the stuff I don’t since I’m the younger. He nods.
“Guys, Pierre’s older brother gets drunk all night and has wakened up with a hang over from so much beer.” Jeff said looking over at Pierre, “Hasn’t he Pierre, he’s been grumpy in the morning hasn’t he?”
“Ya I guess so… I haven’t seen him for so long that I forget that kinda stuff. But that’s from beer not pop!” Pierre said.
“Well maybe we were drinking more than pop…” Jeff said.
“It was pop, if it was beer then I didn’t go get it!” I said. They all kept staring at me.
“Whatever you say Seb, if it was beer we’re gonna be dead…” Jeff said. We skate to everyone’s houses, say peace to them, race around the block and home.
“PIERRE! SEBASTIEN LEFEBVRE! WHY IS THERE BEER CANS ON THE COUNTER? I DIDN’T DRINK THEM AND I KNOW I WASN’T HOME LAST NIGHT! WHAT DID YOU DO, BOYS!?!?” Mom yelled as we walked into the kitchen, “Sebastien Lefebvre, I thought I taught you better than to drink beer! And Pierre, I know your parents and your older brother taught you to never drink beer until you’re 17! You boys are only 14 and you’re already drinking beer! SEB, YOU ARE GROUNDED! BOTH OF YOU ARE! GET UP TO YOUR ROOMS NOW!” We went up to our rooms.
“Pierre, did you put beer in pop cans?” I asked.
“Well… No…” Pierre said trying not to say too much.
“HOLY SHIT, IT WAS YOU! I knew it, Pierre! I’m grounded at something I didn’t even do!” I yelled and slammed the door to my room. I can’t believe my own band mate would do something like this to the band and get me in trouble with him! Someone knocked on my door.
“What?” I said.
“Can I come in, Seb?” Pierre asked.
“Ya whatever, so you can get me in more trouble than I am already?” I said as he walked in.
“Seb, I’m sorry…” He said and looked at me, “Are you… crying, buddy?”
“No…” I said whipping my face.
“Dude, its okay if you cry. We’re just kids.” Pierre said putting his arm around me.
“I know, it’s just…” I started…
“What? You can tell me, I’m your brother from another mother brother!” Pierre said giving me a noggie.
“Don’t please Pierre, it’s just that… I donno how to say this but… the day we got grounded and you got kicked out… my mom got my dad to come over and they started telling me that I was old enough to be going over to dad’s apartment after school, going home at 9, going to school the next day and doing it again. Then I told him I was suspended and he said he was very disappointed in me and said it’ll be like that in 2 weeks but for now I have to do whatever my mom says…” I explained and sighed, “Now my mom’s all up in my face bout me not seeing my dad again for another like 2 years…”
“Dude, that sucks… My parents did that…” Pierre said and we heard a knock on the door.
“Come in…” I said quietly.
“Pierre, it’s your mom on the phone. She wants to talk to you about the stuff you guys were doing last night!” Mom said and Pierre toke the phone.
“Hello?” Pierre said as soon as my mom left, “Mom, I didn’t do it… Mom, I’m never home anymore, I’m better off living with Seb… Mom… Wait… what? Jay’s home… Why? Oh really…” He looks at me and shrugs.
“Mom, I don’t really wanna see Jay right now.” Pierre said and whispered something in my ear, “Pretend to be a girl and we can go down to Rosedale later and get a slush and candy on me!”
“Okay then…” I said and Pierre held the phone out and I started my girl-ist voice I have, “Pie, put the phone away… I wanna watch the movie with you!”
“YOU HAVE A GIRL IN YOUR ROOM AT SEB’S HOUSE AND YOU DON’T WANNA COME HOME BECAUSE I DON’T LET YOU HAVE GIRLS ALONE IN YOUR ROOM WITH YOU!” Pierre’s mom yelled into the phone.
“Come on Pie, let’s go into the basement and do stuff…” I continued in a girl voice.
“One second… baby, my mom’s busy yelling at me!” Pierre yelled at the counter of his mouth.
“PIERRE CHARLES BOUVIER, DON’T YOU DARE!” His mom continued to yell.
“Sorry mom, I gotta go. Seb’s mom makes the best food ever…” Pierre said, “Bye mom…” He hangs up the phone, puts it on my desk and sighs, “Thank you so much, Seb! I owe you dude!”
“That’s what brothers from other mothers do!” I said. Pierre just lays there sighing.
“Dude, didn’t your ex-girlfriend’s dad caught you in the basement then told your mom and you said you can never go in the basement with a girl ever again?” Pierre asked.
“Ya why? Is that where you got the basement with a girl thing?” I asked.
“Of course, I remember that from an interview once…” Pierre said, “They asked if you’ve ever had a girlfriend…
“Good thinking, I thought you might say that… I remember that interview…” I said.
“Come on dude, I think your mom’s yelling at us…” Pierre said and we went into the hallway.
“Boys, you’re going out for supper!” Mom said as we come downstairs and look at her.
“With who?” Pierre and I asked looking at each other.
“Me…” A voice said coming out of the pink room.
“Jay!” Pierre yelled and hugged him, “You’re actually here…”
“Why would mom lie to you?” Jay asked.
“Cause she probably wants me to go home…” Pierre said with Jay’s arm around his shoulder.
“Trust me lil bro, she doesn’t want you to come home… She’s pissed at you!” Jay said.
“Boys, you’re gonna go spend time with your brother Pierre. And Seb, you’re going with him…” Mom said.
“But why would I go with him?” I asked.
“Cause everyone else is…” Another voice said and come out of the pink room.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Oh my god Seb, you don’t remember…” The guy said.
“No I don’t dude, who are you and why are you here?” I asked staying close to my mom, “Wait… Jay?” The guy nods and I hug him.
“I know little buddy, you haven’t seen me in awhile but it’s all good…” Jay said.
“Let’s get going…” Jay said. The other guys come out of no where.
“You guys are going too?” I asked.
“Ya…” They all said.
“This is gonna be so much fun…” I said looking at Pierre still with his brother shrugging at me.
“Well let’s go…” Jay said. We go and pile into my mom’s mini van… David, Chuck and Jeff in the back. Pierre, Pat and I in the middle. Jay and Jay in the front with Jay (my bro) driving. Pierre and I started talking.
“Dude how confusing will this be?” I asked.
“I donno, what do you mean confusing?” Pierre asked.
“Well our big brothers’ are both named Jay… How are we gonna tell them apart now?” I said.
“Well… I donno…” Pierre said.
CHAPTER 6: DINNER AT CHUCK-E-CHEESE WITH JAY AND JAY! CONFUSING I KNOW!
So the older guys decided we don’t go here very often so why now with Pierre and my older brothers. To Chuck-e-cheese’s! Wow lots of fun… Jay and Jay stayed at the table for the pizzas while the guys and I went into the washroom to… uh… go to the bathroom… and wash up for supper.
“Seb, why did I come?” Pierre asked.
“Pierre, I wanna talk to you and you have to uh… wash your hands…” I said going over to the sinks while the other guys went over to the urinals, “Just wash your hands dude, I have to talk to you about something…” Pierre shrugged and went over to the sinks, washed his hands, dried them and sat on the counter next to me washing my hands.
“What’s up buddy?” Pierre asked.
“Well I still donno how to have conversations with jay, my bro, and jay, your bro…” I said drying my hand and sitting on the other side of the sink on the counter.
“Well I donno either… it’s been so confusing up to now…” Pierre said.
“What, guys?” Jeff asked coming over and washing his hands in the sink between me and Pierre.
“Well Jeff, we’re trying to finger out how to have conversations with 2 jays…” Pierre said.
“Well why you both call them bro instead…” Jeff said drying his hands off and leaning against the counter, “It’ll be way easier cause they only have one brother in this band each so that’s easy enough isn’t it?” He leaves the bathroom with David when he was finished washing his hands.
“I guess that could work…” I said.
“What?” Chuck said washing his hands.
“Listen to PIVIATE CONVERASTIONS much, Chuckles?” Pierre said leaving the bathroom with him.
“What was that about, Sebster?” Pat asked we left the bathroom, “Or is it time for Chuck & Pierre’s daily fight?” I shook my head.
“No I don’t think Pierre would fight with Chuck when Jay’s around…” I said.
“Hey guys! Pizza’s not here yet, the other guys are in the ball pit thing cause they kicked all the little kids out…” Jay (Pierre’s bro) said.
“Okay thanks Jay…” I said and we went over to the ball pit, “Hey guys…” We jump into the ball pit. We’re just a normal band doing normal teen stuff. Pierre throwing balls at Chuck, Jeff going down the tube slide, Pat and I watching it all and David… Well he’s just being… David the moron…
“Wow…” I said in amazement…
“STOP THROWIN FREAKIN BALLS AT ME!” Chuck yelled.
“’Stop throwin freakin balls at me, Pierre!’” Pierre said.
“STOP PIERRE!” Chuck yelled starting to get annoyed.
“’Stop Pierre!’” Pierre mocked.
“PIERRE!” Chuck yelled.
“’Pierre’” Pierre continued to mock.
“That’s it!” Chuck yelled and attacked Pierre throwing balls at him, pushing him and maybe even a few punches in there. A dude with a Chuck-e-Cheese uniform that said ‘Bob Manger’ come up to us. Chuck and Pierre stopped fighting up looked at him and said, “Oh crap…”
“Boys, who are you with?” The ‘Bob Manager’ asked.
“Those 2 over there.” Pierre said pointing to his and my brothers coming over to us.
“What’s happening here?” Jay (my bro) asked.
“These boys are making a sense.” The ‘bob manager’ said, “Get out of the ball pit, boys.” We all get out of the ball pit.
“Boys, how old are you?” The ‘Bob Manager’ asked.
“We’re all 14 and 15…” Pat said.
“Well that doesn’t matter…” The ‘Bob Manager’ said. We just eat our supper, Jay and Jay pay and we get kicked out of the place… Well we got banned…
“Guys, what did you do?” Jay (Pierre’s bro) asked.
“Pierre was throwing balls at me!” Chuck said crossing his arms in the back and David & Jeff got in. Pierre and I got into the middle and the Jays got into the passenger and driver seats.
“Stop wining Chuck, you started beating me up!” Pierre yelled.
“You started it, Pierre!” Chuck yelled.
“What the hell are you guys doing?” Jay (my bro) asked.
“They’re having their daily fight, bro…” I said, “They do this everyday when we’re together as a band…” Jay (my bro) did ‘Oh’ with his month.
“Shut up, Chuck! You started beating me up!” Pierre yelled.
“Shut up! I’m gonna kick your ass!” Chuck yelled.
“YOU CANT KICK MY ASS EVEN IF YOU WERE OLDER OR BIGGER THAN ME, I WOULD ALWAYS FUCKIN WIN!” Pierre yelled.
“Guys! Chill out!” Jay (Pierre’s bro) yelled, “Guys, you never told me you hate each other so much that you fight daily!”
“Cause they’re like brothers Jay, it’s how they act…” I explained, “Dudes, stop it or Pat will start annoying you with his piece of shit he calls a camera!” Pierre stares at me.
“What? I cant do this stuff!” I said.
“Ya and I happen to have my camera in my backpack.” Pat said taking his camera out of a camera bag, “I might have to start filming you!”
CHAPTER 7: FLASH FORWARD AND NOW, WE'RE A REALLY FAMOUS BAND Simple Plan. SO LIFE ON A TOUR BUS FOR Sebastien Lefebvre.
I woke up from this weird dream from when we were 14 and 15… Oh and we still have the video from when that all happen. We’re still banned from that Chuck-e-Cheese’s but we never go there anymore.
“Seb! Wake up! We’re home!” Pierre yelled running though the bunk area.
“I’m up, I’m up! God, don’t have to yell.” I said.
“Ya Pierre! don’t have to yell!” Chuck said right under me.
“Oh my bad, sleeping UGLY!” Pierre yells from the front of the bus.
“SHUT UP!” Chuck yelled and got out of his bunk, grabbed some clothes and went into the backroom to change.
“Someone got off the wrong side of the bed!” I yelled to Chuck jumping from my bunk. I slipped some clothes on and put a hat on sideways. I go into the front of the bus and sit at the table.
“Seb! Get your shoes on, dude!” Pierre yelled acting like a 5-year-old waiting to open presents on Christmas morning, “Let’s go!” I slip my blue shoes on.
“Chill out dude, it’s just Armstrong!!!!” I said.
“Dude, we get to see all our family and friends!” Pierre said still acting like a 5-year-old, “We gotta go and say hi to our families then we’re gonna go down to the bar downtown and par-tay like it’s 1999! With all our friends!” I follow him out of the bus.
“Dude still chill out, I’m serious!” Seb said.
“Guys, both of you chill out we gotta get to our parents’ houses.” Chuck said and we piled into a van and the tour bus goes into the big garage of the house/studio we have. Chuck, David and Jeff got in the back. Pierre and I sat in the middle. Pat got in the front to film us.
“Guys, do something funny for the camera!” Pat said filming us. Pierre and I are on our sidekicks texting like crazy. Chuck, David and Jeff are just sitting & staring at Pat’s camera.
“Wow, you guys are exciting!” Pat said, “Hey Seb, where are we going?”
“I donno, ask Pierre…” I said not looking up from my sidekick.
“Hey Pierre, where are we going?” Pat asked.
“I donno, ask Chuck…” Pierre said not looking up from his sidekick.
“Yo Chuck, where are we going?” Pat asked the third time.
“I donno, ask Seb…” Chuck said getting his sidekick out, “Seb, why are you texting me?”
“Cause I wanna!” I said.
“Awesome!” Chuck said.
“Hey Pierre, where are we going?” Pat asked again.
“I donno, ask Seb…” Pierre said still staring and texting on his sidekick.
“Hey Seb, where are we going?” Pat asked once again.
“I donno… Ask someone you haven’t asked!” I said looking up from my sidekick for a second then stared at it and texted more.
“Hey Jeff and David, where are we going?” Pat asked.
“I donno… Ask Jeff…” David said getting out HIS sidekick, “Oh! A text from Pierre!”
“Hey Jeff, where are we going?” Pat asked once again.
“I donno… Ask you!” Jeff said taking out HIS sidekick, “Hey! A text from everyone… Text everyone as much as you can and who ever has the most in their inbox wins…” We all just text until the van stopped.
“Hey guys, we’re at Pierre’s house.” Pat said getting out of the van and opening the door. Pierre gets out, I get out and the other guys get out.
“Okay, who has the most texts in their inbox?” Pat asked behind the camera.
“100!” I yelled.
“101!” Pierre yelled.
“3…” Chuck said quietly.
“100!” David yelled.
“10…” Jeff said.
“I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!” Pierre yelled putting his sidekick away, “Give me your lunch money!”
“What was the prize on this, Seb?” Pat asked.
“Uh… Who ever won, we all have to give the winner 5 bucks… and the lowest score dude gets his ass kicked by everyone! And the 2 last place losers have to give the winner 10 bucks instead of 5… cause well they’re losers…” I explained giving Pierre 5 bunks, “And now I’m broke…” I showed my wallet to Pat’s camera and shrugged.
“Too bad Seb, your lose is my gain!” Pierre yelled taking all the money from the guys and me…
“I’m broke…” I said frowning at the camera, “Pierre toke my money… Better than my cookie… I still have a cookie!” Pierre stared at me.
“Okay then, let’s go see my family!” Pierre said to the camera and we walked up to the door, “MOM!”
“PIERRE!” A women’s voice said and hugged Pierre.
“Mom, the guys came with me cause they don’t have their own life…” Pierre said hugging his hot mom still, “It’s the mascot of the band!”
“Why am I the mascot of the band, Pierre?” Pierre’s mom asked.
“Well uh… Chuck, you can answer that…” Pierre said.
“Uh… Seb…” Chuck said passing on to me.
“Uh… David…” I said passing on to David.
“Uh……………… Jeff……………” David said passing to Jeff.
“Uh… Pat, you’re our best friend… You can answer that one… We’ll take the next one…” Jeff said as we all look over at Pat filming us.
“Hey! I’m just filming you, I’m not in the band so you guys gotta answer the questions guys!” Pat said, “I’m not in charge of answering questions you guys don’t wanna answer your selves!”
“Mom… Uh… We’ve kinda said that cause… Uh…” Pierre said.
“Cause your mom is hot, Pierre!” Jeff said helping Pierre out.
“Well thank you boys and Pierre, come on in and spend some time with your family honey…” Pierre’s mom said.
“Okay mom, come on guys…” Pierre said.
“We’re actually only suppose to drop you off & say hi to your family Pierre, then we gotta get to the other guys’ houses and do the same…” Pat explained.
“Oh okay, come say hi to my family guys. They love us!” Pierre said walking with us into the living room, “Say hi, guys…” We look at all the cousins and siblings Pierre has.
“Hi…” We said at different times.
“PIERRE!” All the young cousins yelled and attacked him to the ground, “We missed you!” Pierre just laid there under at least 15 cousins under 20 at least… We soon got them off of him and I helped him up to his feet again.
“Well that was a nice welcome guys, work on the timing though…” Pierre said.
“Okay Pierre, anything for you dude!” One of the older looking guys said.
“Dude, you have a fan club that is your cousins…” I said looking at them all hugging Pierre.
“Ya, I guess I do Seb… I know you don’t have this many cousins so I can share them with you… They love the band so they love you too.” Pierre said.
“Well we better get going…” Pat said as we said good bye and got back into the van. We went to Chuck’s down the street. We go to the front door and Chuck knocks on the door.
“Hey mom…” Chuck said as his mom hugged him after opening the door, “Guys, you know my mom…”
“Ya we do Chuck, you’re the one who still lives at home and has your parents drive you places!” I said and the guys laughed. We went into the house and into the living room. There was only a couple cousins and siblings. Chuck gets attacked but not to the ground like Pierre did.
“Guys, get off of me please…” Chuck said letting them getting off of him then getting up.
“Off to Jeff’s house then David’s then Seb’s…” Pat said getting into the van again. We go to Jeff’s house and say hi to his family. Then go to David’s house then to mine… Pat comes in with me cause we got the hole close thing with the Man of the Hour Hour cause we’re close like that.
“Mom, I’m here! Pat came with me!” I yelled going into the house with Pat closing the door after he came in.
“Hi sweetie, we’re in the backyard!!” Mom yelled.
“Who’s here, Seb?” Pat asked and I shrug as we went to the backyard and I opened the door.
“WELCOME HOME, SEBASTIEN!” All my cousins, uncles, brother, sisters, aunties, mom and dad yelled as I came outside.
“Seb, we wanted to have a party for you on your birthday but you were somewhere on tour…” Mom said.
“SO WE HAD IT WHEN YOU CAME HOME INSTEAD!” One of my many cousins yelled.
“Well thanks guys…” I said looking at Pat and him shrugging.
“Dude, you’re cousins are coming… Better get on that trampoline or they might attack you to the ground like Pierre’s did!” Pat said. I toke my shoes and socks off and climbed onto the trampoline I got for my 14th birthday… After 13 years, it’s still in my mom’s backyard. My cousins all jumped on me like mad children!
“Guys, you cant have 10 people on the tramp!” I yelled and 7 got off and I jumped with 2 of them at a time.
“Come on Pat, don’t be a party pooper!” I yelled.
“I think my mom’s here…” Pat said, “I’ll come in a minute… The gate opened and Pat’s hole family walked though. From his mom and siblings to his cousins, aunties and uncles to his dad’s side of cousins, auntie and uncles! It was the best party ever and it all happened in Armstrong! Good cheese, good times and now with the biggest party at the Lefebvre’s house! Soon Chuck’s, Pierre’s, some of David’s and some of Jeff’s came and partied it up with us… We were up so late that I slept in my old bed, the guys piled into the guest room and slept there as drunk as ever! But all the cousins and relatives got back to their own houses but the guys wanted to stay at my house cause they love me that much! I went into the bathroom, peed and went into the guest room. Pierre and Chuck ended up fighting a lot last cause well Pierre was drunk… seriously drunk and Chuck was just mad at him for no reason that I know of and they ended up sleeping on the floor on some sleeping bags and having a couple pillows and 2 blankets for each of them. Jeff, David and Pat in the other hand… They were all laying on the bed sideways… Pat wanted to sleep in my room but he ended up sleeping in the guest room. I found Pat’s camera when I was looking downstairs and told my self ‘they’re gonna kill me but I’m gonna go film them sleeping like drunken boys after a night of partying and they’ll hopefully think Pat filmed it…’ I went up to the guest room again with Pat’s camera, I turned it on and filmed my self.
“So we got home yesterday and all our friends and families partied at my place last night… It was awesome but I don’t remember anything.
CHAPTER 8: HEY EVERYONE, HANG OVER AT MY PLACE WHILE WE SIT AROUND HAVING HANG OVERS WHILE MY COUSINS, AUNTIES, UNCLES AND MOM CLEAN UP AFTER THE PARTY LAST NIGHT!
So the guys and I got up at like 1PM cause that’s what you do when you party till 5 in the morning… We went downstairs, had some cereal and watch TV.
“Hey boys, you’re up…” Mom said seeing us put the dishes in the dish washer, “How was your sleep?” She kissed my check and we all sat on the couches and me in the chair.
“Chuck kept kicking me in the balls!” Pierre yelled starting to fight with Chuck.
“You kicked me in the balls more!” Chuck yelled fighting back with Pierre.
“It was uncomfortable…” Pat said scratching his stomach.
“Who knew I was too big for my bunk bed…” I said. My feet were off the edge all night…
“I told you that you aren’t any bigger than when you were home, sweetie.” Mom said patting my head.
“Right…” I said looking at Pat.
“Hey, where’s my camera? I thought I left it on the table last night and it’s gone…” Pat said staring over at me, “Seb, where’s my camera?”
“Right here…” I said taking it off the counter and handing it to him.
“Guys, save some fighting action for the camera!” Pat yelled over Pierre and Chuck screaming at each other. Pat started to film them fighting on the floor. David and Jeff were watching. Mom left to start to clean up.
“Dude, I don’t believe how much they fight…” I said to Pat.
“Ya but this adds to all the fighting they have done for the last couple years SP’s been around and the fans like when they fight…” Pat said still filming.
“Why would the fans like it when they fight?” I asked.
“Well only SOME of them like Chuck and most of them like Pierre so they probably all say go Pierre and boo Chuck…” Pat said still filming the fighting action, “If this was on TV, dude it’d be awesome!”
“Ya but we don’t have time to do the whole reality show Pat, anyways I don’t think anyone would watch it…” I said, “We’re just 5 guys from Armstrong that got lucky… Well Pierre’s just a loser that got lucky at least…” I continued to watch the fight. They actually stopped their selves…
“What are you guys doing? I need like 5 more minutes of fighting for the next DVD.” Pat said.
“I have to piss really bad…” Pierre said heading to the bathroom.
“And I even know why I stopped…” Chuck said sitting on the couch beside Pat.
“Yo Chuck, are you gonna do another version of ‘the bitch’?” Pat asked turning off his camera.
“What the hell is ‘The Bitch’?” Chuck asked.
“’The Bitch’ staring Pierre Bouvier… It’s on ‘A Big Package for you’…” Pat said.
“Dude, we haven’t done that stuff since 1999 to like 2003!” Chuck yelled, “Why the hell would I remember doing ‘The Bitch’ staring Pierre Bouvier.”
“What, Chuckles?” Pierre asked punching him again.
“It wasn’t me! It was Pat!” Chuck yelled.
“Ya right, Pat didn’t say anything!” Pierre yelled starting to fight Chuck again.
“Guys, that’s enough! We don’t need to explain at every concert why one of you or both have black eyes!” I yelled.
“Whatever!” Chuck yelled continuing to fight Pierre, “Get off me, Pierre! You’re crushing my arm!” Pierre rolled off of Chuck and got up, grabbed a water bottle, drank half of it, poured it into chuck’s mouth cause it kinda looked like he could get off of the ground.
“Thanks Pierre…” Chuck said in between gulps, “You’re missing my mouth dude…Pierre STOP!”
“I know I am, I meant to do that!” Pierre yelled.
“You’re ‘The Bitch’!” Chuck yelled looking up at Pat’s camera and Pat nods, “But I donno what I did…” Pat shrugged and looked over at me.
“I don’t remember anything that happened last night or what we did 5 years ago!” I yelled.
“Do you have the DVD?” Pat asked.
“What DVD?” I asked, “I gots too many…”
“A Big Package for you…” Pat said.
“Oh I really donno…” I said, “I think I have it up in my room with my other collection of SP stuff…” I go up to my room, look for the DVD, grab it, put it on the counter in the bathroom, close the door, pee, wash my hands, grab the DVD and go downstairs.
“Here Pat, I found it.” I said handing it to Pat.
“This is ‘The Bitch’ staring Pierre Bouvier.” Pat said and put the DVD in the DVD player. I got it on and stuff. Pat grabs the remote and goes to the chapter ‘The Bitch’ is in. We all sat around watching our DVD of us… We watch half of the DVD for no reason. I think we were funnier back then cause Chuck and Pierre fought… I was so funny when I was young and when I got drunk back then… like one little clip on the DVD is me getting lifted into a van cause I said ‘I’m so drunk that I couldn’t fuckin lift my self into the van’ or something… It was pretty weird watching me when I was so young and stupid… I don’t act like that anymore… especially when I’m drunk…
“This is ‘The Bitch’ staring Pierre Bouvier, chuck!” Pat said pointing to the screen when it came on.
“Oh… I couldn’t of guessed it… Not that it says ‘The Bitch’ staring Pierre Bouvier or anything…” Chuck said sarcastically.
“Whatever!” Pat yelled crossing his arms. I make a puppy dog face at him and he fingers me when he saw it. I shrug and kept doing it. On the DVD, ‘The Bitch’ staring Pierre Bouvier is… Pierre trying to sleep on the ground in an airport and Chuck mainly coming up to him with a water bottle… And pouring it on his head and Pierre gets up and grabs Chuck and bitch slaps him then Pierre says ‘tonight, when he’s sleeping I’m gonna dump fuckin yogurt down his fuckin shorts’ and that was ‘The Bitch’ staring Pierre Bouvier. Pat also showed us the making of ‘I’m just a Kid’, ‘I’d Do Anything’ and ‘Perfect’. Then he witched it to the extra DVD on the ‘Still not getting any…’ DVD and then showed us how ‘weird’ we were then and then he switched it to the DVD from the 3rd record… Totally boring for us so Jeff and David fell asleep first then soon Pierre and Chuck fell asleep flat on the ground… Pat started filming them.
“This is what the guys in Simple Plan do when watching their own DVD’s I made…” Pat said to the camera then put it on Jeff and David… Pierre and Chuck laying on the floor then there’s me, “Seb, trying to stay awake?” I looked at him.
“What?” I asked and staring at the camera.
“Good times, uh Seb?” Pat said still filming me half asleep.
“Shut the hell up Pat, you weirdo! All you do is film us and that’s it…” I said staring at the camera, “Turn that thing off… All we’re doing is sleeping anyways… Why would… Oh wait, that’s something fans love…” Pat nods. I finger him.
“Oh, Sebastien’s crabby!” Pat said still filming.
“Patrick, I wish we could beat you up like we use to!” I yelled waking the guys up.
“What the hell are you talking about, Seb?” Pierre asked.
“Pierre, don’t you remember kicking Pat’s fuckin ass?” I asked, “And the shiner you gave him?”
“Ya… I do… mostly cause we just watched it on the DVD…” Pierre said staring into Pat’s camera at his face.
“Don’t do it Pierre, you love me more than ever!” Pat yelled putting his camera down and I pick it up.
“Do it, Pierre! Beat the shit out of him like you use to dude! You and I both know you want to!” I yelled filming Pierre almost beating Pat up… Then finally realized he wanted to beat Pat up… So he did… That was fun to watch and Pat got his payback too… Pierre slapped him hard on the back and then somehow (no one really knows) Pierre’s pants got down to his knees and his boxers down a little bit… Pat started pounding a bowl on Pierre’s head then poured some pink stuff in his hair… Pierre gave him a shiner and we all went back to the studio.
“See ya later mom, I’m gonna go with the guys and chillax in the studio house! Peace!” I yelled upstairs and slammed the door behind me, “Hey guys, you know what you haven’t done in awhile?” They all stare at me. I went into the garage where my old chair was.
“Seb, you still have your first car?” Pierre asked.
“I didn’t know it was here… I guess my mom wanted to keep it… I didn’t have any say…” I said digging though all the shit in the garage, “Pierre, grab these…” He grabbed 2 skateboards out of my hands.
“Dude, this is my old skateboard!” Pierre said looking at it, “Dude, we’re gonna skateboard?” I nod and grab 2 more skateboards and a scooter we had for some reason sitting in the garage.
“Here guys, your skateboards…” I said handing the 2 skateboards to David and Jeff. I toke out the scooter and gave it to Chuck. I looked though more stuff and found another really old skateboard… I handed to Pat.
“Dude, you expect to me ride a skateboard?” Jeff asked.
“We don’t have a car guys, what else are we gonna do?” I asked and they all looked at me, “Come on dudes, just try it! I remember how to skate, I think… Chuck, you get a scooter cause you can’t skate or drive or anything. Your live is drumming…”
“Nice one Seb, high five!” Pierre said giving me my skateboard then a high five, “That was a bad burn!”
“Shut up Seb!” Chuck yelled getting on the scooter but that didn’t work to well, “This thing is a piece of shit!” We all looked at him.
“That’s what you get Chuckles, you donno how to drive, skateboard… you only know drumming!” Pierre said.
“Whatever, ass hole!” Chuck said trying to get the hang of scootering… We all got the hang of skateboarding… though Jeff was a little rusty cause he really never skateboarded neither did I but Pierre helped fix that… He was skateboarding last year on that French channel…
“There you go Seb, just keep balance and you’ll be fine…” Pierre said as we went over to the house. We put our skateboards and scooter in the mini room beside the garage. We take our shoes off and go into the house. We all go up to our rooms. My room was next to Pierre's. I went in… big mess still… I lay on my bed. Pierre comes in and looks at me.
“We have 3 hours here dude, then we’re off to the little bar down town to party like its 1999!” Pierre said and I nod, “You just look like you’re happy to have your old bed back instead of the bunks in the tour bus…” I nod…
“See ya dude…” Pierre said and left the room. I got up and went downstairs. Normal stuff going on in the SP house: Jeff and David watching TV, Chuck and Pierre fighting again… and Pat filming Pierre and Chuck fighting again today. Then they decide to see whose better at Rockband on drums… then Pierre challenged David to see whose better at singer… then challenged me at guitar… and then me again at singing… he won both all the singing, the drums and beat David and Jeff but I beat him on guitar…
Okay the party’s over, I don’t remember anything… We played Rockband for like an hour after the party because we were drunk and I played drums because Chuck went to bed because he’s a party pooper!
CHAPTER 9: THE PARTY WENT FROM 10PM TO 1AM AND WE PLAYED Rockband TILL 2AM SO YA... THE NEXT DAY, BACK ON THE ROAD LIVING OUT OF A SUITCASE...
I wake up, it’s about 5 in the morning and you wouldn’t expect Simple Plan to get up at 5 in the morning… that gives us all time to: pack again, get showered, eat something and grab some coffee from Tim Horton’s… We got on the bus, back on the road and go though Vernon where we got the coffee from Tim Horton's. We’re going to an interview on the radio station in Vernon now… it’s about 7 or 7:30… so we did the radio interview and now we’re going to the Village Green Mall for a CD signing where we meet a 14 year old girl, Kailyn Madden as she calls herself, who is mainly a tomboy… she doesn’t care about anything but us so it’s pretty cool… she wants us to come to her little town a play a little show.
“Could you really come to Armstrong and play a little show… I donno how many people who come but a free event… maybe a CD signing hosted by me and some teachers from Len Wood Middle School… my friends wanna help and meet you then like hang out with you guys and stuff… I’m just excited that I’m meeting you…” Kailyn explained and I stare at Pierre, “And these are my friends, Ashley and Chelsea.” The 2 girls wave.
“So you guys want us to come to do a free event in Armstrong?” Pierre asked.
“Ya mainly, Pierre…” Kailyn said.
“Dude, that’s weird…” Chuck said looking over at the screaming girls at the store entrance.
“Chuck, it’s not weird that they love us…” Pierre said pushing him in the chair, “You idiot!”
“Shut up, Pierre!” Chuck said pushing him back.
“Dude, why are you guys fight in front of teenagers like teenagers too!” I yelled putting my hand on my head.
“Awe… Seb, I love you! Hug it up…” Pierre said hugging us, “We love each other.”
“Guys, you really think I’m stupid?” Kailyn said, “I’ve seen ‘A big package for you’, the side B of the ‘Still not anything…’ CD and I’ve seen the extra DVD on the ‘Simple Plan’ CD… I know that Pierre, you fight with Chuck all the time!”
“Right… All the fans know that, Pierre!” I yelled
in his face and he keeps hugging me, “He just loves
me…” The 3 girls just smile at each other…
“You guys are so cool, you know that?” Pierre said.
“Thanks, right back at you dude.” Kailyn said.
“So we’ll come by your school tonight…” Pat said.
“Thanks guys… Pat, you’re the coolest guy of the band you know that?” Kailyn said.
“Thanks, that means a lot after all the stuff these guys did and I just film it all and control the website.” Pat said.
“Awe… We love you Pat…” I said hugging him, “Guys, it’s good for Kailyn’s camera!” The other guys got up and we did a group hug for Kailyn’s camera.
“Thanks guys, I’ll let you put that on the website Pat…” Kailyn said filming us still, “You’re my role model because I don’t wanna play guitar, bass or drums… I don’t even wanna sing, I just wanna get into like filming a band or like maybe go on TV… or something like that…” We keep hugging Pat.
“Guys, you smell… Stop! You suffice me…” Pat said and we still hug him, “Seb… Thanks for starting this dude…” I hug him more… Soon David and Jeff let go. Chuck and Pierre just started fighting… I stopped hugging Pat and he grabbed his camera and started making us do a vlog…
“Dude, don’t please! This is a very bad time to do a…” I started to say.
“It’s rolling…” Pat said filming my face.
“Uh… Yo, this is Sebastien… We’re in Vernon, BC, Canada… we just did a CD signing and uh… get a shot of all the kids out there…” I said and Pat toke 5 seconds to film the kids then went back on me, “Well uh… Jeff and David are talking to these 3 girls we meet today… and uh… they want us to come to their small little town and play a free concert event… and uh… Chuck and Pierre are fighting again…” Pat goes on Chuck and Pierre fighting…
“They’re always fighting… this time I really donno why… I think cause well… Chuck said ‘Dude, that’s weird’ and that was towards all the fans in the window over there… and uh… Pierre said ‘Chuck, it’s not weird that they like us’ and well pushed Chuck and that went right out the window cause well they started fighting…” I said taking a sip of my water, “Here, Pat… Want some water?” I put the bottle over his head.
“No thanks Seb, you’ll screw up my camera if you get it wet!” Pat yelled at me behind the camera.
“Dude, stop filming then!” I said, “This vlog is getting long…”
“It’s been like 2 minutes…” Pat said.
“Dude, that’s long enough!” I said walking away from it to Kailyn, Ashley and Chelsea, “I’m done, Pat! Turn it off or I’ll start a group hug again with you in the middle!” Pat fingers me and sticks his tongue out at me.
“Okay, you know how to just film us Kailyn?” I said looking at her and she nodded, “Here, film this for the website…” Pat handed her the camera.
“Seb, don’t!” Pat yelled.
“Group hug guys!” I yelled. Jeff and David looked at me and I winked at them. Chuck and Pierre stopped fighting to look at me and I winked at them too.
“Awe… We love you, Pat!” I said hugging him, “Guys!” Pierre starts hugging the right side of Pat, then Chuck, then David and then Jeff.
“You guys smell like shit!” Pat yelled from the middle, “This is all fake and because I was filming Seb doing a vlog!” Kailyn laughing and circled around the group hug…
“This is what we call a ‘get back at Pat for filming a stupid vlog, kids!” I yelled at the camera, “Okay let him go guys, he’s go
CHAPTER 10: CONVINCING THE GUYS PAT AND I ARE TALKING BUT NOT TO THEM.
“Owe! Patrick!” I yelled rubbing my arm and him laughing at me, “PATRICK!” I punch him, “That really fuckin hurt!”
“Sorry Seb, I tried to do a playful punch…” Pat said backing away from me, “Don’t hurt me…”
“Oh I won’t, they will though…” I said leaving the back lounge as Pierre, Chuck, Jeff and David came into it.
“What’d you do to him, Patrick?” Pierre asked yelling.
“I didn’t do anything guys… don’t hurt me…” Pat said putting his laptop computer beside him shut off, “Help…” I close the back lounge door.
“SOME FRIEND YOU ARE, SEBASTIEN!” Pat yelled and all I heard after that was ‘owe…’, ‘fuck’, ‘no not the face’, ‘not the balls’ and ‘owe fuck you guys!’. He comes to me after the fight 4 against Pat… I look at him.
“Ahh…” I said.
“Thanks for helping me, my so called FRIEND!” Pat said getting some ice and putting it on his black eye, “You let them beat me up, Seb!”
“So?” I said shrugging, “They would of anyways…”
“Dude look what they did to my eye, they could of if they really wanted to but they did it cause you yelled ‘owe! Patrick!’ and that got Pierre & Chuck & David & Jeff to come in and beat me up and you didn’t even stop them!” Pat yelled crossing his arms.
“Hey! Hey! Pat, chill! Remember the plan?!?! I can’t talk to them!” I tried to explain, “I’m gonna go pee my pants now…” I got up and went to my bunk.
“Seb!” I looked up, it was Pierre.
“Dude, what’d Pat do to you?” Pierre said. I shrug.
“You don’t know?” Chuck said standing next to Pierre, “Why wouldn’t you know?” I shrug.
“God, Seb!” David yelled, “You’re not gonna tell us are you?” I shrug.
“Come on guys, we’re at the concert place…” Jeff said as they all stared at me and walked away.
“Yes…” I said to my self going into the bathroom and peed, “God that was close, thank you…” I pee and wash my hands. I go out of the bathroom, get my low top chucks on and go outside.
“Hey, he comes out!” Pierre said. I look at him and try to cover my eyes with my hat.
“Awe, is the sun too bright for Sebby?” Pierre asked me and I stare at him evilly, “Wow, that’s so evil Seb, I’m so scared!” I punch him in the balls.
“Okay, I’ll just be over… not near you…” Pierre said going away from me, “Watch out Chuck, he punched me in the balls! He’s mad! AAHH! He looked at me!” Pierre turns away from me.
“Well done, Seb…” Chuck said patting my back and I, like what I did to Pierre, punch him in the balls, “Dude, what’s your problem today?” Chuck goes over by Pierre.
“David! Jeff!” Chuck and Pierre yelled, “Don’t go near Seb, he’s mad and he’ll punch you in the balls!” They come over to me and look at me weirdly. I punch David in the balls, he goes over to Pierre & Chuck, I punch Jeff as hard as I could in his left shoulder and he goes over to the guys.
“Hey Seb!” Pat said coming off the bus, “Wanna go do something?”
“Sure why not… The guys are scared of me…” I said.
“Why are they scared of you, Seb?”
“Cause Pierre said ‘awe is the sun too bright for you Sebby’ and then I punched him in the balls… then Chuck tried to talk to me and I punched him then David come over to me and gave me a weird look so I punched him and then Jeff come over and looked at me weirdly so I punched him as hard as I could in his left shoulder.” I explain to Pat, “Watch this from a distance, Pat…” I go over to the guys, they all cover their balls and Jeff covers his shoulder.
“Wow, good job Seb!” Pat said as I come back over to him and high fived him, “That’s perfect!”
“I know… Wait… Why is it perfect?” I asked confused.
“Well… uh… if they’re scared of you then they won’t talk to you until tonight hopefully…” Pat said and we walked away from the group but I saw they followed us, “Dude, if I can’t talk to them… how can I do a vlog later today?”
“Easy!” I said, “I’ll say ‘Hey Pat, aren’t you gonna do that thing?’”
“And ‘that thing’ will be a…” Pat said thinking, “A vlog!” I high five him again.
“Exactly!” I said, “Where are we going anyways?”
“I have no idea…” Pat said and we stopped in our tracks and turned around to the other guys.
“What?” Pierre said, “Where are we going, Pat?” Pat shrugs, “PAT! You always know!”
“Hey Pat, when’s soundcheck?” I asked.
“Like in 2 hours or something when they have all your shit set up on the stage and in the dressing room I guess…” Pat said, “Wait… Where are we?”
“We’re in Chicoutimi, Pat…” Chuck said.
“We’re in… Chicoutimi… We go home in 2 days!” I said, “YES!”
“Why is that a good thing, Sebby?” Pierre asked me and I look at him, walk up to him, stare at him in the eyes, I put my fist up and punch him in the balls again. I walk over beside Pat then we secretly high five behind our backs.
“You’re being really mean today, Sebastien!” Chuck said helping Pierre stand up, “Why are you acting like this?”
“Pat, let’s go back to the concert place…” I said and winked at him. He winks back.
“Okay… Maybe there’s something we can do there…” Pat said.
“There is Pat, trust me…” I said and we walked back to the concert place. The guys followed us.
“Where in hell are we?” Pierre asked. Pat and I look at each other and laugh.
“What the hell are you 2 up to?” Chuck asked. We laugh more.
“Come on, fill me on in on the joke!” David bagged.
“Ya, if you’re laughing at Pierre or Chuck then you can tell us…” Jeff said. We laugh harder…
“Okay Pat, stop it please… I’m gonna pee my pants!” I said continuing to laugh, “Come on Pat, let’s go…” Pat nods and we actually go back to the concert place with the guys following us. We continue to laugh until I finally got to the washroom and peed not in my pants. I came out after I washed my hands.
“Better, Seb?” Pat asked and I nod, “Let’s go somewhere…”
“How about you do that thing?” I asked winking.
“Oh right…” Pat said and goes to find his camera.
CHAPTER 11: THE VLOG THAT GETS VERY ANNOYING FOR THE OTHER GUYS VER FAST AND DO I ALMOST PEE MYSELF ON STAGE THAT NIGHT? OH YES...YES I DO...ALMOST...
Pat comes back with his camera.
“Oh great, run everyone! Pat has his camera!” Pierre yelled and ran into the bathroom.
“Wow… Seb, do you think that meant that he volunteers to start the vlog?” Pat asked and I nod, “Okay… Go, Seb!” He turns his camera on. Let the vlog begin…
“Yo Yo! This is Seb and we’re in our dressing room in… where are we? Oh ya, we’re in Chicoutimi…” I said, “Okay so Pierre said ‘I would love you to film me hiding from you in the bathroom so go check it out Pat, go…” Pat goes into the bathroom and finds Pierre sitting on the counter. I followed Pat…
“Hey Pierre, I heard you wanted to volunteer to be in the vlog for sp.com!” I said standing beside him.
“I hate you soooo much right now, Seb!” Pierre said.
“I know, I love you too!” I said hugging him and he elbowed me in the balls, “No comment to that…”
“Why can’t you bug the other guys, Patrick?” Pierre asked.
“Well Jeff’s practicing like always, David’s in some interview thing and Chuck fell asleep on the couch… You and Seb are the only ones left…” Pat said.
“Make that only Seb!” Pierre yelled leaving the bathroom and Pat follows him and I follow him.
“Come on Pierre, this isn’t good footage!” Pat said.
“GOOD!” Pierre yelled.
“Guys… I’m trying to sleep!” Chuck said wining on the couch…
“That was Pierre, Chuck…” I said sitting on a chair beside the couch, “Keep going Pat, I don’t need to be in it…”
“Ya I know, we’ll do one later for man of the hour… right now it’s all about Simple Plan and Pierre!” Pat said.
“Shut up guys. Pierre, take them around the stage or something…” Chuck said wining and Pat got a shot of him sleeping, “What’s up kids, I’m sleeping… Bye…” Chuck puts his hand over the camera lens.
“Okay, Chuck’s crabby… Pierre, why don’t you take the fans around?” I said.
“Why don’t you?” Pierre asked.
“Cause more fans love you than me…” I said.
“Awe Sebastien…” Pat said giving me a puppy face.
“Shut up Pat, come on… I’ll go with you then, Pierre!” I said.
“Fine, come on Pat…” Pierre said. We went onto the stage and Pat follows us.
“This is the stage…” Pierre said.
“No duhh, Pierre!” I said and he punched me.
“Hey no fighting guys, that’s only between you and Chuck Pierre!” Pat said going around the stage.
“Hey Pat, this is where I sing and play guitar cause that’s what I do!” I said to the camera, “And down there… Shot down there Pat…” He looks down right in front of the stage, “That’s where… Give me the camera…” I grab the camera, “That’s where Patrick Langlois stands and films us though the concert. Don’t you, Pat?!?!” He nods and takes the camera back and films me.
“That’s where Chuck plays drums… That’s where Jeff plays… that’s where David plays… and the whole stage is where Pierre sings.” I said, “Come on, let’s go find David…” I walk around.
“Where’s David, Frenchie?” I asked Frenchie when he walk past me and he shrugged, “Frenchie everyone.” He waves to the camera and goes back to whatever he was doing. We look around for David and we find him.
“Shhh…” I said to the camera and come up behind him, “BOO!” David looked at me.
“Hey Sebastien, you found me!” David said.
“Yes I did, Pat wants you in the vlog.” I said.
“Oh well I’m kinda busy right now…” David said.
“Oh well…” I said, “Who’s the interview for?”
“Much Music, then MTV Canada is waiting over there for me to get done and for MTV Live to come on…” David explained and Leela from Much come over.
“Hey Sebastien, you going to join the interview?” Leela asked. I shrugged and looked at Pat. He shrugs.
“Sure, why not?” I said, “Pat’s filming this for the website anyways…”
“Well you can be on TV and on sp.com for all the fans in the world not only Canada!” Pat said. The Much camera started rolling and he stayed out of the shot.
“Well we’re back and I’m joined here with David and now Sebastien has decided to join us too. How are you, Sebastien?” Leela asked holding the mic to me.
“I’m great… How are you?” I said smiling big at Pat who was trying to stop laughing.
“I’m great, now I have some questions for you…” Leela said, “How’s tour been so far? Any one attack you yet?”
“Well some girl in… where were we when that girl attacked me after the one concert, Seb?” David said. I shrug. I look at Pat. He mouths ‘Halifax’.
“Oh we were in Halifax David, we were out signing autographs after the show and some girl was crying so some other girl attacked David for some odd reason and well the guard guys had to pull her off and we went on the bus after that…” I said.
“No I went on the bus after that, you guys stayed out and signed more autographs while I stayed on the bus!” David said.
“Ya but we only did it for like 5 minutes.” I said looking at Pat and he nodded, “See!”
“Whatever Seb…” David said.
“So guys, any big parties?” Leela asked.
“Jeff Stinco has had like 5 parties for his birthday and then we party every night at the concerts so… it’s crazy every single night…” I said, “Oh I gotta go, bye guys…” I wave to the camera and Pat follows me into the dressing room.
“Why’d you leave so fast, Seb?” Pat asked turning off and putting away his camera.
“Cause I didn’t wanna stay and be bored… or let David be bored… I donno…” I said going into the bathroom and Pierre was sitting on the counter again, “Pierre, Pat’s done the vlog… Why don’t you go do the interviews with David?”
“Well maybe I don’t want to do the interviews with David…” Pierre said crossing his arms. I shake my head and go pee. I wash my hands beside Pierre.
“Why are you picking on me today, Seb?” Pierre asked.
“I’m not…” I said, “Am I?”
“Ya, you’re being mean to everyone today… What’s up with you?” Pierre asked, “What are you going though… because you know we don’t hide secrets in this band…” I shrug.
“Come on dude, tell me or I’ll pound you!” Pierre said putting a fist up to my face.
“Pierre! Sebastien! MTV wants the whole band for the interview!” Chuck yelled into the bathroom.
“We’re coming, Chuck!” Pierre yelled, “I’ll get you, Sebastien!”
“Whatever Pierre, whatever!” I yelled and walked quickly out of the bathroom.
“What’s up, Seb?” Pat said walking beside me to the interview area thingy.
“Pierre’s gonna pound me if I don’t tell him why I’ve been so mean to the guys…” I said.
“Hey Seb, nice to see you again…” Johnny from MTV said shaking my hand.
“What’s up Johnny, nice to see you again too…” I said shaking his hand back.
“Seb, where’s Pierre at?” Chuck asked me because he was already there with David & Jeff…
“He was right behind me…” I said looking back.
“Here I am!” Pierre said coming out of nowhere.
“What the hell, Pierre!” I said slapping his arm.
“Seb! I’m gonna pound you!” Pierre said grabbing my shirt, “I’m gonna fuckin pound you!” I look at Pat and mouthed ‘help me!’ Pat just shrugged… I roll my eyes at him. He mouths ‘sorry…’
“Guys, you can do this later!” Pat said.
“No Pat, I wanna pound YOU later but I wanna pound Seb right now…” Pierre said holding a fist up to my face, “I’m gonna pound you, Sebastien Lefebvre!” I just stand there.
“Guys, please do this later!” Chuck yelled putting his head in his hands…
“Ya, we have to get on with this interview…” The camera dude said.
“Let go of Seb, Pierre…” Pat said. Pierre drops my shirt making me fall backwards but he helped me up. I fixed my shirt and stood in between Chuck and David. It goes Pierre, Chuck, me, David then Jeff. So the interview goes past. We go into our dressing room. We get ready for the show. Pat stops me before I go on stage.
“What’s up, Pat?” I asked putting my guitar strap on around my neck.
“Dude, when Pierre does his lame ass song about where ever we are… you can tell him what to sing about…” Pat said.
“Ya I know…” I said.
“But make him say something like I have to pee or something like that…” Pat said.
“Ya, I know Pat… Chill!” I said and went on stage. We play generation, shut up, jump, etc… I go to the side of the stage to Pat.
“Pat, if I die tonight… I want you to know, I fucked your mom!” I yelled to Pat. He fingered me because he remembered that from the DVD. He grabbed his camera and went on stage.
“It’s Pat!” Pierre yelled into his mic. Pat just waved and jumped off the front of the stage where the security dudes stand to keep the screaming girls away from us. Pierre comes over to me as I got a different guitar on.
“Dude, why is he annyoering me?” Pierre whispered to me as we went and faced the drums.
“Why’d you have to punch me in the balls, Seb?” Chuck asked me.
“Awe poor little Chuckles has to sit and play drums with sore balls!” Pierre said, “Try running around the stage with sore balls!”
“Guys, chill!” I said.
“Guys, what the heck are you doing?” David said into his mic.
“We’re just talking, David…” Pierre said into his mic.
“Ya, about how hot the girls are here!” I yelled into my mic and all the girls screamed. Pierre just looked at me and shook his head.
“Okay then, Sebastien is gonna get very drunk tonight aren’t you Seb?” Pierre asked me.
“Yes Pierre, I’m gonna get really drunk tonight!” I said, “Cause Chicoutimi is the PAR-TAY CITY!” The crowd screams again and I throw my water bottle out on the crowd.
“Hey Sebastien, there’s a sign about you back there.” David said and I try to find the sign, “It says ‘Sebastien and Patrick come here and do a Man of the Hour Hour show and Seb marry me!” I nod because I saw it.
“Wow… Good job on the sign!” I said giving a thumbs up. I go and give a drumstick back to Chuck.
“Here Chuckles, you almost hit me with a drumstick!” I said handing it back to him.
“I don’t care, Sebastien. Throw it out to the crowd!” Chuck said and I throw it out to the crowd like he said. Pierre gets his guitar out after a couple other songs and starts the ‘improve’ song of the night for Chicoutimi.
“Hey, look at Pierre and his little guitar!” I said.
“I brought my guitar out cause I want to play a song for Chicoutimi.” Pierre said making the crowd scream, “Seb, are you gonna feed me words to sing?”
“Do you want me to?” I asked.
“Could you please?” Pierre asked.
“Sure… Sure…” I said.
“We’re in Chicoutimi…” Pierre sings.
“And the girls are really hot!” I said.
“And the girls are really hot!” Pierre sang.
“And you have to pee!” I said.
“And I have to pee!” Pierre sings.
“We’re going to party!” I said.
“We’re gonna party!” Pierre sings.
“With all our friends tonight.” I said.
“With all our friends tonight.” Pierre sings.
“You’re all invited to come backstage after the show.” I said.
“You’re all invited to come backstage after the show.” Pierre sings.
“And party with Simple Plan tonight!” I said.
“You’re all invited to the party with Simple Plan tonight! LET’S TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF! GET NAKED!” Pierre sings and the crowd screams, “We’re in Chicoutimi!”
“I actually really have to pee…” I said.
“You have to pee right now?” Pierre asked.
“And it’s so hot that if I pee in my pants, it wouldn’t make a difference.” I said.
“There you go!” Pierre said.
“I’m gonna do that, I’ll be right back…” I said going to get a different guitar again. I go back and face Chuck taking his shirt off while drinking some water. I go up to my mic.
“Everyone’s getting naked, Pierre!” I said.
“Really?” Pierre said looking at Chuck, “Oh, Chuck has no shirt on! Look at the drummer girls!” I laugh and Chuck stands up and the crowd screams.
“Well that’s one thing…” Pierre said.
“Well it’d be weirder if you toke your shirt off, Pierre!” I said and he looked at me and the girls screamed, “They want you to do it not me!”
“Well I don’t do that, Seb!” Pierre said. We go back to playing songs. We do Low, I kissed a girl and Summer Love.
“Hey Pierre, you have some kick ass dance moves!” David said.
“I know!” Pierre said doing some kinda dance and David put his mic stand beside Pierre’s butt, “Hey!”
“You can pole dance!” David said. I shake my head and drink some more water. I throw 2 water bottles out to the crowd and one of my guitar picks. Frenchie come on stage to put more on my stand and just to bug him… I kept throwing them to the crowd and I think Pat was smiling and laughing at what I was doing. We played the songs… Pierre stayed on stage and played the start of ‘Perfect’ while the rest of us went off and did whatever and waited till we had to go on stage again to finish the show. Pat come on stage and went backstage before the end of the 2nd last song. We went off stage and Pat comes up to me.
“Ya, you’re alive!” Pat said punching me.
“Come on man, don’t punch me please. It already hurts from playing WII last week… I can barely play guitar because I was playing tennis and stuff…” I said.
“Awe poor Sebby!” Pat said making a puppy dog face at me and I punch him. I drink some water. Chuck just wiping his self off with a towel.
“It’s hot, Pat!” I said wiping my face with a towel, “Seriously hot!” I drank some more water and by this time we went back on stage though I think I was a little late… like by a second but I got the guitar parts right… We throw mainly everything into the crowd. I mean like guitar picks, towels, water bottles and then Chuck’s drumsticks.
CHAPTER 12: THE PARTY WHERE PIERRE GETS DRUNK AND GETS MAD AT ME THEN LEAVES ME LAYING ON A COUCH WITH PAT AND ME HOLDING A ICE PACK TO MY BLACK EYE FROM THE JACK ASS DRUNKEN PIERRE BOUVIER!
We go into the dressing room, get ready to go to the party. I’m going to bed when we went back to the bus after this… Pierre got drunk and got really mad at me so I spent the last half hour of partying mainly lying on a couch with Pat beside me and me holding an ice pack on my eye.
“That’s a bad shiner Pierre gave you, Seb…” Chuck said coming up to me.
“Shut up Chuck, just shut up…” I said turning away.
“He’s a little cranky from the whole fight thing…” Pat said and Chuck shrugs and walks away, “Only 10 minutes buddy, then we can go back to the bus…”
“Whatever, I have to pee…” I said getting off the couch and throwing the ice pack on the couch. I go into the bathroom and pee… and guess who come in and peed in the thing beside me… no one other than Pierre Bouvier aka the jack ass who gave me a black eye. I pee, wash my hands and go back to the couch.
“Here Seb, sit down and put the ice pack back on your eye…” Pat said handing me the ice pack. I put it on my eye and slam down onto the couch. Chuck come up to us a couple minutes later.
“Hey Seb, do you wanna go lay and watch TV or a movie or something?” Chuck asked and I shake my head, “Well what do you wanna do then?”
“I just wanna go back onto the bus and go bed and not be near the jack ass who gave me a black eye!” I said.
“Seb, chill please… Chuck…” Pat said, “Why don’t you give me the keys to the bus, I’ll go with Seb and lock it when I go out and I’ll come back and get you guys…” Chuck nods and gives Pat the keys to the bus.
“Hey, does that dude want the ice pack back?” Pat asked Chuck.
“Uh… I’ll give it to him…” Chuck said and I gave it to him. Pat puts his backpack on that had his camera in it and puts his other arm around my shoulder and we walk out to the bus.
“Can you hurry up, Pat?” I asked shivering, “It’s cool out here…” Pat unlocks the door, let’s me go on and he follows me.
“Seb, it’s not cold out there… are you getting sick or something?” Pat said and I shrug and he feels my forehead, “Oh… you are cold… Just try to get to sleep Seb, before the other guys come onto the bus… Good night, buddy…” I say good night and he gets off the bus and locks the door behind him. I go into the bathroom and look at my self in the mirror. I do look a little sick… I go to my bunk, take my shorts off, take my shirt off and climb into my bunk. Lucky Pat’s under me. Pierre’s across from me on top and Chuck’s on the bottom of him. Jeff and David are both on top bunks I think I donno… I try to get to sleep. I stare out my little window and then try listening to music. Just knowing the guys aren’t there… makes me not wanna sleep… I hear the bus door slam. I look out my certain and it was the guys. I close it and listen.
“Pierre, shut up!” Chuck yelled.
“You shut up Chuck, you jack ass!” Pierre yelled. I knew he was a drunken ass so… I don’t blame him…
“Guys, please just be quiet!” Pat yelled, “Seb’s trying to sleep after someone made him suffer.” I knew that all looked at Pierre when Pat said that.
“What! He got me pissed off!” Pierre yelled.
“It didn’t mean you had to punch him and give him a black eye, Pierre!” Pat yelled. I saw him taking his shirt and shorts off cause there was a crack in my certain that I was looking though… he noticed.
“Sorry for all the yelling Sebastien, SOMEONE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SHUT UP!” Pat said yelling at Pierre and he got into his bunk, “Good night, Seb…”
“Shut up, Patrick!” Pierre yelled from the front lounge, “Or you’ll get the next shiner!”
“Fuck off and let me and Sebastien sleep!” Pat yelled. I stared at the top of my bunk until I heard nothing… I fell asleep after that… I heard little yells in the night but I knew that it was just Chuck and Pierre fighting… I had to pee for half of the night but I managed to hold it until the morning… I got up, slipped some shorts on, went into the bathroom and peed. I washed my hands and went out to the front lounge… no one was up, I don’t blame them… I looked at the clock on the microwave and it said 10:30am… I laid on the couch and waited for Chuck to get up cause 11 is the time he gets up cause he don’t party every night like the rest of us do… I fell asleep… I woke up and Chuck was staring at me which made me go ‘Ah!’
“What Sebastien, you scared of my face?” Chuck said.
“No I’m freaked out at you staring at my face!” I said sitting up and rubbing my eyes, “I always seem to wake up to someone’s face staring at me…”
“Ya, maybe we just love you Seb…” Chuck said.
“Or you hate me…” I said laughing, “Ya Chuck, I’m sure it’s because you just love me…” I eat some lucky charms and read the cereal box. One by one the lazy party all night asses get up. First Pat who didn’t party that much after I got punched in the eye, second Jeff, third David and lastly Pierre. We all sat around on the bus, we got to Montreal and I got to go home finally.
CHAPTER 13: COMING HOME TO MONTREAL BABY! OKAY I KNOW I LIVE IN ARMSTRONG UNTIL NOW... ITS KINDA BASED ON SOMEONE'S LIFE BUT THE CHARACTER IS SEBASTIEN LEFEBVRE... SO THIS IS HOME TO MONTREAL CAUSE THATS WHERE THEIR FAMILIES LIVE AND THEY SPEAK FRENCH TOO...
So we’re home… we’re playing Toronto so well this is how David’s birthday concert went… we just finished ‘Low’ by Flo Rida, ‘I kissed a girl’ by Katy Parry and now David’s gonna get his cake…
“Well would you dance like that if it was your birthday?!?!” Pierre said then Pat and Frenchie come on stage and brought a cake out.
“OH!” I yelled and we all sang happy birthday to David…
“Come on Jeff, have some cake!” David said then started chasing Jeff around the stage trying to get his head into the cake. He almost got my face in it and then Chuck comes out and David threw cake at him.
“David!” Pierre said because he threw at him and everywhere… at me, at Jeff, at Pat and Frenchie, at the crowd, at chuck… AT EVERYONE! The crowd screamed and David ate a chunk of cake then threw it at Jeff…
“You’re making a mess David!” Pierre said wiping the cake off his face and clothes.
“Ya! GET THE CAKE AWAY FROM THE BIRTHDAY BOY!” Chuck yelled into my mic. The crowd screams and I heard some boos too…
“Just clean your selves off and you’ll be fine, Chuck!” David said and Frenchie toke the cake, “HEY! THAT’S MINE!” Frenchie goes over to us. We all went in front of the drums.
“One… two…” Pierre said into his mic and we all grabbed some cake, “three… FOOD FIGHT AT DAVID!”
“AH!” David said and toke his bass off. We all throw cake all over him!
“WE GOT HIM TORONTO, WE GOT THE BIRTHDAY BOY!” Pierre yelled into his mic and the crowd screamed. I couldn’t stop laughing… I had to sit on the platform of the drums to stop.
“Stop laughing Sebastien, it’s not that funny!” David yelled into his mic and wiped the cake off of him with like 3 towels, “Why won’t he stop, Pierre?”
“Sebastien, why are you laughing so hard?” Pierre asked standing next to me and I just shrug, “Seb, stop it…” I continued to laugh…
“Make him stop, Patrick!” Pierre said and looked over at Pat. He was gone so was Frenchie. Jeff and David looked at each other then at Pierre. They all stared at each other until I fell on my shoulder and my arm started to really hurt and I started crying suddenly.
“I can’t… play… my arm is busted…” I said to Pierre.
“Oh my god…” Pierre said, “He’s gone…” The crowd started to boo because I guess we had to get out of there, “I’m sorry Toronto, we have to go but we’ll be back soon enough…”
“I’m fine… I’ll be fine… my arm just really hurts…” I said to Pierre and the other guys who stood me up and Pat toke me off stage after Pierre toke my guitar.
“Are you okay, Sebastien?” Pat asking putting me on the couch and some medical dudes looked at my arm.
“Where did you fall on it, Sebastien?” The medical dude asked me and I showed him.
“Owe…” I said when he touched it.
“Well the crowds pissed at us…” David said walking into the dressing room, “Thanks Seb, you had to start laughing at me!”
“I wasn’t laughing at you the whole time! Owe!” I said and David shook his head at me, “David…”
“Just shut up Sebastien, you got a broken arm that’s all you need on MY birthday!” David said leaving the room. Pat sits beside me. The rest of the guys come in.
“Hey Seb, where’d David go?” Jeff asked and I shrugged, “Pat, where’d David go?”
“I think back out to the stage thing… I think they’re clearing everyone out right now…” Pat said. Jeff went to find David after his shower.
“Sebastien, you have a broken arm. You have to get a cast on. You have to wear it for 6 weeks…” The medical dude said.
“What?” Pierre said, “Seb can’t play guitar for 6 weeks?” I sighed and lay on the couch.
“Well he can if it doesn’t hurt him…” The medical dude said putting stuff around my arm and put my arm in a sling…
“No guitar for at least 2 weeks…” The medical dude said writing a note thing and gave it to Pat, “Are you gonna take him to the hospital?” Pat nods, “Give this to the front desk person and she’ll take care of the rest. My work is done here…”
“Thanks, dude…” I said.
“Thanks…” Pat and Pierre and Chuck all said.
“Well Seb, I guess you’re not taking a shower…” Chuck said.
“I need one but it says I cant get my arm wet…” I said holding up the note and Chuck read it.
“This is Sebastien from Simple Plan. They played here last night and Sebastien fell and broke his arm while laughing at something. They cancelled the rest of the concert and now Sebastien has a broken arm…” Chuck read, “Sebastien needs a cast on for 6 weeks max… he may not get drunk or get his arm wet… from the medicals at…” Chuck gives it back to Pat, “Wow… you cant get your arm wet Seb, but that doesn’t mean you cant have a shower…”
“What the hell is that suppose to mean, Chuckles?” Pierre said drinking some beer.
“Seb why don’t you have one of those… sink showers… you just wet your self down without getting your arm wet…” Chuck said.
“Why? I don’t HAVE to have a shower…” I said.
“If you’re sleeping on the bus with 5 other guys that HAD showers then you are the odd one out!” Pierre yelled drinking more beer.
“Are you getting drunk?” I asked.
“Hell ya, it’s still David’s birthday right?” Pierre said.
“After I broke my arm, it’s more like THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!” I said putting my right hand on my head.
“It’s okay, Seb… I’ll help you shower… come on…” Pat said, “I’ll get you wet and you can do the rest…” We go into the bathroom.
“What’s the matter, Seb?” Pat asked, “Why do you look so sad?”
“I think I’m the fault of all this…” I said.
“Of all what?” Pat asked.
“David just ran away from me cause I ruined the concert on HIS birthday, Pat!” I said taking my shirt off, “He ran away from me… he hates me…”
“Seb… don’t say that… he doesn’t hate you…” Pierre said coming into the bathroom.
“Ya Seb, he doesn’t hate you…” Chuck said following Pierre.
“See, Chuck and Pierre said that he doesn’t hate you…” Pat said. They all help me and I shower sorta… they get everything expect my left arm wet… I have boxers on… they give me a towel and leave the bathroom. I dry my self off and dry my hair. I put my sling thing back on and go out to get clean clothes. Pat gives me my backpack, I grab a clean shirt, clean shorts, clean boxers and clean socks. I get dressiest in the bathroom and come out.
“Well you ready to par-tay, Sebastien?” Pierre said.
“He’s already drunk?” I asked.
“Ya sorta…” Chuck said.
“Pierre!” I said punching him.
“What’d I do?” Pierre said rubbing his arm.
“You already got drunk?” I asked and he nodded, “How the hell can you get drunk when David’s somewhere, Jeff went to find him and I’m in pain with a broken arm?”
“I donno, I’m drinking away the pain?” Pierre said and I punch him again. Jeff came back into the dressing room.
“Hey Jeff, where’d David go anyways?” I asked.
“He’s sitting on the stage and talking to some fans that clam to know him from all the concerts they’ve been too.” Jeff said, “Why?”
“I’m just gonna go talk to him…” I said putting my hat sideways and leaving the dressing room, “Hey Frenchie, what’s up?”
“The fans are still outside… they want in…” Frenchie said, “They asked why the rest of the show was cancelled… I said… Sebastien just a broken arm he’ll be okay… they almost beat me up…”
“Awe… poor Frenchie, where’s David?” I asked. Frenchie pointed to the stage and I went over to David. He just handed his bass to one of the sound dudes. I walked over to him.
“Oh… hey Seb…” David said looking up at me, “How’s your arm?”
“It’s good David, how’s your birthday?” I said sitting beside him.
“It was good until… this happened…” David said.
“Look David, I’m sorry if I ruined your birthday…” I said, “I just couldn’t help laughing at you covered in cake…”
“I know Seb, it’s okay… and you didn’t ruin my birthday…” David said.
“Really? I thought I did…” I said.
“No you didn’t ruin the whole day, you only ruined some of the concert… and some fans’ dreams of meeting us… but we’ll come back here…” David said.
“Wow, you guys having a touching moment?” We look behind us and see the guys standing there. Pierre said it…
“Is Pierre already drunk?” David asked looking at us all…
“Yes, he is…” We all answer.
“Wow… let’s go then…” David said.
“I don’t feel like drinking a lot tonight, I will though…” I said to Pat as we left the concert place.
“I’ll watch you like an eagle over a dog…” Pat said putting his arm around my shoulders, “I mean I’ll watch how much you drink… I think…”
“Sure, you will Pat… I’m sure you will…” I said and we left the concert place.
CHAPTER 14: PATRICK’S 28TH BIRTHDAY ON SEPTEMBER 9TH 2008…
“Hey Pat, what’s up?” I said as he pushed past me.
“You jack ass…” He said and went into his room. We’re back in Armstrong… and we’re at the Simple Plan house aka my house… since everyone lives here…
“What’s up with you, Pat?” I said walking away…
“What’s with Pat, guys? Guys?” I asked looking around… I found a note…
“Sebastien, you idiot… we’ve gone to Vernon to prepare for Pat’s birthday party… SURPRISE birthday party… don’t spill it you idiot, peace… the guys…” I said and sat on the couch, “They had to leave me with the birthday boy, didn’t they?”
“Sebastien!” I went out to the front door and saw Chuck… I open the door for him and he punches me.
“Owe! What the hell is with everyone and hitting me today?” I yelled rubbing me arm.
“You forgot!” Chuck yelled hitting me again.
“WHAT!” I yelled.
“You forgot Pat’s birthday is today!” Chuck whispered yelled.
“What!” I said, “No I didn’t!”
“Ya you did, you forgot!” Chuck yelled.
“Fine! I did but you don’t need to brag it in my face!” I said crossing my arms.
“Dude, the guys have gone to get stuff…” Chuck said, “Pierre, David and Jeff… why doesn’t that sound like a good thing…”
“Dude, Pierre and David you shouldn’t trust… but you can trust Jeff…” I said. We go into the basement.
“Wow, this looks like the party…” Chuck said looking around, “They are getting all the decorations and a present for Pat… but not balloons…”
“I know where we can get balloons with Justin Timberlake’s face on them!” I said.
“Does Pat even love him anymore?” Chuck asked.
“HELL YA!” I yelled. I go upstairs and knock on Pat’s door.
“Go away, jack ass!” Pat yelled. I could tell he thought we ALL forgot his birthday…
“Can I come in, Pat?” I asked.
“NO! GO AWAY, JACK ASS!” Pat yelled.
“Dude, let me in.” I said.
“Fine, come in jack ass!” Pat yelled and I entered his room. I closed the door and sat beside him on his bed.
“What’s up with you, Pat?” I asked and he looked away, “Tell me Patrick, I’m your best friend aren’t I?” He shrugged, “Come on Pat, I know you wanna!”
“Fine! Where’d you learn that from? It always works on everyone…” Pat said and I stare at him, “OK! Everyone left to go to Vernon expect you and Chuck… they all forgot it’s my birthday today… just like when I turned 16 in grade 10…”
“What? I knew it was your birthday! They don’t know though…” I said, “I almost forgot about that day…”
“Dude! Don’t change the subject!” Pat yelled.
“Trust me, Pat! You’ll be surprised for them not knowing it’s your birthday…” I said leaving the room. I go downstairs and watch TV with Chuckles.
“Did he believe you?” Chuck asked on a commercial of Family Guy.
“Ya, I hope so…” I said still staring at the TV.
“Right…” Chuck said. Pat comes downstairs and sits beside me and grabs one of my Oreos off the table.
“PAT! That’s my Oreo!” I yelled and he ate it.
“Too bad Seb, I ate it already!” Pat yelled.
“Shut up Pat, this is a new episode of Family Guy and IT’S ON!” Chuck said. We watch and the guys soon come home.
“CHUCK, GET OUT HERE!” Chuck goes to the garage door. I hear it slam and get up to check it out. I go outside.
“Wow, you guys aren’t prepared for this!” I said crossing my arms. Chuck is getting beaten up by Pierre. Jeff and David were just standing there.
“Seb! HELP ME!” Chuck yelled.
“No!” I yelled standing with Jeff and David.
“Guys, go get the basement ready for tonight!” Pierre yelled pushing Chuck to the grass then down onto it…
“Fine, we’ll do everything!” David said, “You 2 keep fighting so all the neighbours won’t come!” We grab the couple bags of stuff and go into the basement. We get everything ready. Pierre and Chuck come downstairs. We stare at them.
“What?” They both said at the same time. They ran upstairs to their rooms after Jeff scared the shit out of them by yelling the shit out of them…
“Dude, how’d you do that?” David asked.
“Magic David, MAGIC!” Jeff said waving his hands around.
“Fine, don’t tell me then!” David said backing away. We finish the basement set up and everyone started to arrive after supper at some point. Pat thought we were just hanging out getting drunk in the basement so he was up in his room listening to music or watching the DVDS or something… The guys and I got everyone downstairs in the basement with the lights off. Stuey and I went up to get Pat. I knocked on his door and open it.
“Hey Patty, come downstairs now…” I said and Pat followed me downstairs. Stuey meet him at the bottom of the stairs onto the main floor.
“Hey Stuey!” Pat said letting Stuey kiss his face. I open the door to the basement and lead Pat down the stairs to the basement.
“SURPRISE!” Pat’s face went blank as we all looked at him.
“It’s your birthday Patrick, we surprised you!” Pierre said waving his hand in front of Pat’s face.
“Ya, you did…” Pat said…
“Dude, are you okay?” Jeff asked as Pat’s face went almost completely white, “Guys, I think there’s something wrong with him…”
“Ya… that’s noticeable…” I said and Pat fell down to the ground hitting his head on the wall.
“Oh…” Chuck said…
“Shit…” Pierre said…
“Now what?” One of our friends asked.
“Is his head bleeding?” Chuck asked. Jeff and Pierre lift Pat up and Chuck looks at his head and shakes it…
“He must of just past out…” I said helping Jeff and Pierre carry him upstairs to his bedroom.
“Man… What are we gonna do at Pat’s birthday party without Pat?” I asked as Pierre and I put Pat on his bed and I sat at the end of it.
“I donno Seb, we didn’t plan for this to happen…” Pierre said sighing and I put my head in my hands, “Come on man, it’ll be okay… he’ll wake up and we’ll have party with him…” Pierre puts his arm around my shoulders…
“I know Pierre, but I feel like this whole thing is my fault…” I said looking at him.
“How is it your fault, Seb?” Pierre asked, “You didn’t plan to make Pat pass out because we had a surprise party for him…”
“Pierre, it’s because he thought you guys forgot and only I remembered it was his birthday and now he’s gonna spend the rest of his birthday laying in bed just cause he past out when we surprised him!” I said and went into my room. Pierre knocked on the door and opened it…
“Seb, don’t do this to your self…” Pierre said sitting at my feet. I’m lying on my bed.
“Pierre, go away! I’m the reason for Pat passing out and everything!” I said putting my pillow over my face.
“No you’re not Seb, come on… come party with everyone and when Pat wakes up, he’ll join us… or think ‘what the hell are they doing in the basement?’ and come yell at us to shut up but either way, you should come party with us…” Pierre explained. I toke my pillow off my face and threw it at him.
“You just wanna get a night of parting in bro, everyone knows that!” I said.
“Ya but still…” Pierre said… we party till 2am and Pat comes down at like midnight. So we’ve partied for about 5 hours and Pat only did 2 hours of the 5… so he went to bed after he started to get a headache. I went to bed when my ears started to hurt and Chuck said my forehead felt hot to him so I went to bed… What’s gonna happen to me? What’s gonna happen to patty mc paterson? Does the party last all night? THE END!
Note from me! : I’m not ending this until I get a laptop in October… and its Sept 12/08 at 11:22pm and I’m hungry…
CHAPTER 15: SO BACK TO ARMSTRONG. WE DECIDE TO PAY A VISIT TO SOME TEACHERS AT LEN WOOD MIDDLE SCHOOL!
We went down to Len Wood at 2:30 when the school got out, some kids realize it was us but they were wondering mostly why we’re here and why pat’s following us with his camera.
“We’re entering the middle school we call HELL!” Pierre yelled at the camera. We go into the office and Pat gets a good shot of us talking to the principal.
“Well what do we have here?” The principal asked.
“Simple Plan!” We all said and waved our arms like crazy.
“Well ‘Simple Plan’, what brought you to Len Wood?” Mr Finlay asked (We said hi to him before to introduce our selves).
“Well we wanna come bug the teachers.” I said.
“Wow…” Pierre said and the guys looked at me, “Seb, you haven’t said anything all day!”
“Maybe I have said stuff but not to you!” I said laughing at Pat laughing at me…
“Well what teachers would you like to bug?” Mr Finlay asked.
“Mr Wood…” I said.
“Mr Martin…” Pierre said.
“Mrs Haywood-Farmer about her shortness…” David said.
“You’re weird, dude…” Pierre said.
“Whatever Pierre, you say that too much to me!” David said.
“Cause you are weird!” Jeff yelled.
“Whatever guys, I hate you!” David said and crossed his arms.
“Well I’ll lead you to the Green Geckos’ classrooms…” Mr Finlay said, “Come on, boys”
“We’re coming…” We all murdered…
“Can we just surprise the whole school?” Chuck asked.
“Chuck, you’re usually the one who cant shut up but being back in the middle school has made you shut your mouth and shut up for once…” Pierre said and Chuck punched him, “Chuck, I’m gonna kill you!” Some kids walk past us and I heard them whispering about something…
“Come on boys, this is a middle school not a fighting area…” Mr Finlay said and we followed him into one of the classrooms.
“WOW!” We all yelled and stared at the 3 teachers.
“Oh my… They’re really here…” Mr Finlay said.
“Well here are some real old students…” Mr Wood said.
“Hi Mr Wood…” I said coming out from behind Jeff and David, “Your worst nightmare!”
“Holy…” Mr Wood said, “You’re back? Why?”
“We’re here to bug the crap out of you, Mr Wood…” Pierre said standing beside me.
“Ya and the other teachers too…” Chuck said standing on the other side of me. Pat sat on a desk and filmed us talking to Mr Wood.
“Any reason why that guy has a camera?” Mr Wood asked.
“I’m Pat and I was one of your students.” Pat said from behind the camera, “I do this for a living now…”
“Okay then…” Mr Wood said crossing his arms at the fact he’s gonna be on one of our DVDs…
“Come on Wood, be a man!” Pierre said.
“Oh… and how old are you guys now?” Mr Wood said.
“I’m 27…” I said.
“I’m 28 so is Pat…” David said.
“I’m 29…” Chuck said.
“I’m 29…” Pierre said.
“And I’m 30…” Jeff said.
“You and Mr Martin should hang out Jeff, you would go together… but I don’t think…never mind…” Pierre said shutting up and stepping away from Jeff.
“Shut the hell up Pierre, you should hang out with Wood because you’re both weirdoes!” Jeff said.
“That doesn’t make scene, boldly!” Pierre yelled and Jeff almost started to fight when Mr Martin and Mrs Haywood-Farmer come in the room.
“A little help here, guys!” Pierre said screaming in terror… I went behind the camera to Pat while Chuck and David tried to get Jeff off Pierre.
“What the heck is going on here, Jim?” Mrs H-F asked. Okay… We learned this at the end of grade 8… Mr Wood’s name is James but his real name is Jim and Mr Martin’s name is Jim but his real name is James… so Mr Wood is Jim and Mr Martin is James…
“Well these trouble makers came in the room and started yelling at each other and it turned into a fight I guess…” Mr Wood said.
“Jeff started it!” Pierre yelled and Jeff went in for the kill again so David and I try to hold him, “Come on Bouvier, you’re not scared of me!” Jeff yelled.
“Enough!” Mr Martin said standing between them, “Jeff, I thought you were the oldest of the group and was better than that…”
“I’ve had too much to drink today…” Jeff said…
“And it’s only 2:30 in the afternoon!” I said to the camera, “Mr Martin… Mrs H-F… you remember Patrick, don’t you?”
“Yes I do, he was your partner in crime the year you both had to stay for a half hour.” Mr Martin said, “You both bugged Mr Wood almost to retirement.”
“WE DID?!?!” Pat and I asked looking at Mr Wood nodding his head, “YES!”
“Kids, don’t do anything we do at school and don’t get your teachers to retire… it’s a bad thing…” I said to the camera.
“Hey Pat, I always knew you’d do this someday…” Mr Martin said.
“What exactly did you think?” Pat asked.
“Well in grade 8, you were good at all the tech and computer stuff and now you’re working a video camera.” Mr Martin explained.
“Well thanks Mr Martin, I try…” Pat said.
“Pat, you’re gonna ruin it because YOU’RE TALKING!” Pierre said trying to make Pat angry.
“Dude, shut up before your ass gets kicked!” Chuck warned Pierre.
“Chuck, maybe you should listen to your own advice. I’m not scared of Pat, no one is!” Pierre said to the camera, “Hear that kids, Pat’s gonna beat me up!” Pat gives the camera to me and grabs Pierre and takes him to the ground.
“BOYS!” Mrs H-F yells, “Get up now!” Pierre pushes Pat off of him and Chuck helps Pat up.
“Now Pat you’re what? Somewhere in your 20s so are you Pierre.” Mrs H-F said, “You’re acting like you’re in middle school again! You’re not, you’re men now. You’re both probably stronger than the 2 I work with.” Mr Wood and Mr Martin yell “HEY”
“It’s true, James and Jim…” Mrs H-F said.
“Okay, but to the non-old people Mrs H-F…” I said.
“Right, Pat and Pierre… if you wanna fight, don’t come bug us… if you wanna fight then go home or something anywhere but schools…” Mrs H-F said.
“Nah, Pierre you’re gonna get your ass kicked when we get home tonight!” Pat said taking the camera back from me, “Go guys, do something exciting…”
“Patrick, this is a middle school not us at a concert!” I said.
“I know. Do something exciting in middle school…” Pat said shrugging…
“Why don’t you boys write some lines on the board” Mr Wood said going over to the white board. We follow him and Pat goes to the back of the classroom to get a perfect shot. We each get a white board marker and start writing…
“Wait…” Chuck said stopping, “What are we writing?”
“Oh and you’re the smart one!” Pierre said.
“Shut up Pierre, what are we writing?” Chuck said.
“Write ‘We, Simple Plan, will never swear in school again’ until your little part of the board is full!” Mr Wood said, “Pat, you almost started a fight with Pierre you have to write too!”
“What? But I’m just the web/merch guy, right guys?” Pat said nervously.
“He should write!” The guys (not me) said.
“Okay Pat, get up there! NOW!” Mr Wood said.
“But I just came to film them I didn’t know I was gonna get in trouble.” Pat said trying to get a full shot of us writing at the white board then he went up to the board, grabbed a maker and started writing beside me, “What am I writing?”
“Pat, you’re writing ‘We, Simple Plan, will not fight in school.’” Mr Wood said. We all started to write.
“I haven’t written in a while…” Pierre said.
“Ya, so what’s your point Pierre?” Chuck asked.
“Ya Pierre, we haven’t been in school for… A LONG TIME!” David said.
“Com down David, write your lines dude…” Jeff said.
“Shut up Jeff… You’re done?” David said looking at Jeff’s part of the white board, “Is that done, Wood?”
“No you can still fill in the empty spaces, Jeff!” Mr Wood said, “Keep going guys, and get it as full as possible. We don’t have all day!”
“No we don’t!” Pierre said being a smart ass.
“Don’t start Pierre, don’t do it!” I said.
“WRITE NOW! NO TALKING!” Mr Wood yelled. We all shut up and write as much as we could. We all put the markers down and turn around.
“They left?” Pierre asked.
“They said they were…” Pat said grabbing his video camera and we left the school. It was getting late and the van was still here… Pierre hoped in the drivers’ seat, Jeff in the passenger’s seat, Pat & me in the back and Chuck & David in the middle.
“We’re gonna die!” Pierre said.
“Shut up Pierre, that’s getting old!” Chuck said.
“I’ll kick you out, Chuck! I’ll make the poor little drummer walk home!” Pierre said and Chuck fingered him, “Watch it Comeau, you’re gonna die!”
“Guys, stop fighting!” Jeff yelled and they both looked at him, “I’m tired guys, I don’t need a headache too!” We all shut up for the ride home.
Chapter 16: ON TO THE HIGH SCHOOL, PVSS! PLEASANT VALLEY SECONDARY SCHOOL.
Note: I’m hungry and it’s Sept 19th/08 at 11:20pm and I’m starving almost… I’m not ending this until I get my laptop in October!
We walk into Pleasant Valley Secondary School at 11:30am because that’s when their lunch time is we heard from Mr Martin…
“Wow, this school hasn’t changed one bit…” Pierre said looking around at all the kids sitting around.
“May I help you, boys?” Some teacher asked.
“Hi, we’re Simple Plan…” Pierre said, “We all came here when we were in high school.”
“Oh… well are you popular around here?” The teacher asked.
“We don’t know. That’s why we came here.” Chuck said.
“Oh really? Well you can walk around the school and see if you’re popular or not…” The teacher said and walked away from us, “Don’t kick those 6 guys out, they’re Simple Plan… some band…”
“Well walk guys, so I can film you!” Pat said starting his camera on me.
“I fell like I’m in high school again…” I said to the camera, “We’re in PVSS in Armstrong, BC where we… uh… grew up and we’re gonna get attacked by some fans now…” Pat goes onto 3 girls sitting at a table. We over heard them.
“Hey look guys, isn’t that simple plan?” The fat one asked the 2 other ones.
“Oh my god dude, it’s really them!” The one wearing a Simple Plan Canadian Tour shirt said. We hear the 2 girls scream.
“I don’t have to go to Calgary or anywhere just to see my favourite lead singer ever, Pierre!!!” The one in the SP sweater said.
“And I don’t have to go to Calgary just to see my favourite guitarist and singer, Sebastien!” The one in the Simple Plan shirt said. We went over to them.
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” The 2 SP fans screamed.
“IT’S REALLY YOU!” The one in the SP shirt screamed. The fat one just stared at what just happened to her and the other 2 girls.
“Hi girls…” Pierre said and the one in the SP sweater screamed, “Okay… Owe…”
“Hi girls…” I said and the one in the SP shirt screamed, “Ok… Owe… that’s seriously loud when it’s not in concert…”
“We realize that Sebastien but that’s for pointing that out for everyone!” David said.
“Shut up David, I bet they don’t even like you!” I said, “One said her favourite singer and guitarist & singer, me… and the other one said Pierre’s her favourite.” David crosses his arms and pouts.
“Awe, did I make David sad? Poor David…” I said pouting like him.
“Shut the hell up, Sebastien before I make you!” David yelled at me. I back away from him on the other side of Pierre.
“Guys stop it!” Pierre said, “Don’t fight in front of cute fans like them…” The girls went ‘ah’.
“Pierre just said we were cute…” The one in the shirt said, “I like Seb more though…”
“Well maybe I like you more too…” I said looking at the girl.
“Wow…” The girl in the shirt said, “You were my favourite from the beginning, Seb!”
“Cool…” I said still looking at her.
“Sebastien!” Chuck yelled and I looked at him, “So girls, what are your names?”
“I’m Seb’s girlfriend…” The girl in the shirt said, “I mean I’m Kailyn Lefebvre… I’m in grade 9…”
“I’m Pierre’s girlfriend…” The girl in the sweater said, “I mean… I’m Nicole Bouvier… I’m in grade 10”
“And who’s the other one?” Chuck asked looking over to the fat girl in shock.
“Don’t mind her, that’s Emily… Once she asked us what we would do if you guys walked though the doors of the school… she’s a little over freaked out by you being here…” Kailyn explained, “Just don’t mind her, she hasn’t even been to one of your concerts…” we all look at ‘Emily’ then back at Nicole and Kailyn.
“Okay…” I said looking at Kailyn.
“Well what are you guys doing here?” Kailyn asked.
“This is every young girl’s dream to have us show up at their school or house or somewhere they are, isn’t it?” Pierre asked confused…
“Oh ya… it truly is but I mean like why would you come to Armstrong… I thought you only played big cities like Calgary…” Kailyn said.
“We’re from Armstrong…” I said.
“I thought you were from the French part of Canada… Montreal…” Nicole said confused like Pierre.
“Ya, we are but we moved here when Seb was in grade 5…” Jeff said, “I had to take these 5 to school until Pierre got his licence finally…”
“I was 17, Jeff!” Pierre said, “Don’t blame me!”
“Guys, we don’t care about that stuff…” Kailyn said, “All we care about is that you’re really in our school when we’re here…”
“Ya… I’m really meeting Pierre Bouvier!” Nicole said, “I really love you and your singing voice…”
“Well thank you… I truly have the best fans…” Pierre said staring at Chuck, “Do you girls like Chuck at all?”
“I like Seb better than any of you…” Kailyn said, “But you’re my… what your shirt says, Chuck!”
“I’m your Role Model?” Chuck asked.
“Ya…” Kailyn said, “And I have that shirt but it's green…” She keeps staring at Pat for some reason.
“So girls, anyone you wanna say hi to or brag this someone’s face that you’re with simple plan right now?” Pat asked.
“Ya… I wanna do something but it includes Pat and Seb.” Kailyn said.
“That’s cool… Here Chuck, film this.” Pat said handing the camera to Chuck and standing on the other side of Kailyn because I was the right side and Pat was on the left, “And… GO!”
“Yo! Yo Peoples of the world, I fell like the luckiest girl in the world!” Kailyn said to the camera with Pat and me smiling big, “I bet you’re all jealous of me right now because I’m in the middle of The Men of the Hour!” We both laugh.
“Ya that’s right peoples, she’s the luckiest kid in the world and in this school right now!” Pat said putting his arm around Kailyn’s shoulders.
“This is the best moment of my life, guys!” Kailyn said hugging me and I hug her back, “That’s for making it happen…”
“You’re welcome Kailyn, hey! You guys wanna come hang with us?” I said.
“Dude, there in school.” Chuck said, “They can’t just ditch it to hang out with us…”
“Well I only have mod English and PE after lunch. I can just tell my teacher that I’ll be away for mod English.” Kailyn said, “Maybe you guys can come to PE with me, maybe… my PE teacher would like that…”
“I wanna come to your PE class now…” Nicole said. The Emily girl went away after a while…
“Awe man, it’s almost the end of lunch…” Kailyn said, “I’m gonna take Seb and Pat and Pat’s camera to my teacher and make an excuse for not coming to class… Chuck, you can come too…”
“I’ll take Pierre, David and Jeff to get out of my 2 classes…” Nicole said and hugged Pierre like it was her dreams come true in one day.
“Hey… guys, in the guys’ bathroom… now…” Pat said. We all went into the guys’ bathroom while the girls waited outside it for us.
“What’s up, Pat?” I asked.
“Awe man look how fuckin small the urinals are here!” Pierre said as Chuck went in one and peed, “How can you pee in that Chuck? It’s so tiny!”
“Shut up Pierre, I donno if we should really take them out of their classes just to come hang with us guys…” Pat said, “It just seems really wrong on our side…” Chuck washes his hands and dries them.
“What do you think we should do then, Pat?” Chuck asked.
“I donno, just not take them out of school…” Pat said.
“Well too late, it’s done! David, Jeff and I are going with Nicole so she gets out of her 2 classes…” Pierre said.
“Ya, Chuck, you and me are going with Kailyn to get out of her one class and probably convince her PE teacher to let us hang in her all girl PE class.” I said and we left the bathroom.
“You guys ready?” Kailyn asked.
“It’s all good!” I said.
“Wow that gets old when you’ve seen the DVD 1000 times.” Kailyn said looking at Nicole and they laughed, “Let’s go guys…” Pat, Chuck and I follow Kailyn while Jeff, David and Pierre followed Nicole… I think Pierre really likes Nicole like I kinda really like Kailyn… we go into the room beside the guys’ bathroom…
“Okay guys, just stand behind me and be and look cool which isn’t hard for you guys… my teacher’s name is Mrs Mackenzie.” Kailyn said as we stepped into the room.
“Kailyn, you’re late…” Mrs Mackenzie said, “Oh, who are these 3 guys?”
“These guys are my… cousins… ya, I never see them anymore cause they’re famous rock stars.” Kailyn said, “This is Seb, Pat and Chuck. And Uncle Pat is the best web dude in the world that’s why he has a video camera… and he just films the guys at their concerts and stuff…”
“Really? Well it’s nice to meet you guys…” Mrs Mackenzie said thinking something doesn’t seem right here, “Well Kailyn, are you coming to class?”
“Actually… I called my mom and she said I have a dentist appointment so Seb, Pat and Chuck are gonna take me to it…” Kailyn said, “So I’m leaving for an hour but I’m here for last block… you can tell me what I missed on Monday…”
“Okay, I want the real reason…” Mrs Mackenzie said.
“Fine… they’re famous rock stars but not my cousins…” Kailyn said, “They’re from my favourite band, Simple Plan…” she showed her wrist band and pointed to her shirt.
“I saw them in Calgary the first weekend of September. Please just take it…” Kailyn said and we left the room, “That was easier than I thought…” Nicole came back with Jeff, David and Pierre behind her.
“We good to go, dude?” Kailyn asked.
“Ya, it toke awhile but I got out of both my classes.” Nicole said, “Pierre convinced my teachers that he was a famous singer.”
“It worked, didn’t it?” Pierre said shrugging.
“Ya, whatever. Let’s get the hell out of hell…” Kailyn said.
“You think high school is hell?” I asked.
“Ya Seb, but it’s gonna all change after today…” Kailyn said looking into my eyes, “You’re so cute!”
“Seb likes a girl!” Pierre said and I elbowed him in the balls, “Bam!”
“Oh… that’s gotta hurt…” Nicole said and she and Kailyn laughed at Pierre holding his balls.
“I hate you Seb, I’m gonna kill you!” Pierre yelled as we walked out of the school into the van. Pat got into the front seat. David and Jeff sat in the back. Chuck sat in the front beside Pat. Pierre sat in the back and he made David get in the middle of him and Jeff. Kailyn, Nicole and I are in the middle. So in the back it goes left to right: Pierre, Jeff and David. In the middle: Nicole Kailyn and me. In the front: the driver dude we found, Chuck and Pat with his camera. Of course, Pat always filming us. He goes on me and I just stare at him evil…
“You should stop sticking your camera in my face all the time or you might get something bad at you!” I said to Pat.
“Awe, is the Sebby crabby?” Pat asked and pouted at me, “Awe poor little Sebby!”
“Shut the hell up Pat, I’m gonna kick your ass!” I yelled staring out the window, “Where the hell are we going anyways?”
“I donno crabby Sebby…” Pat said smiling at the angrier on my face, “Awe, the little Sebby’s gonna get mad at me… I’m so scared of Sebby…”
“Shut up Patrick, I’m gonna kill you if you say ‘Sebby’ one more time!” I yelled at him.
“Awe the little Sebby is gonna kill me, I’m so scared!” Pat said and I fingered him.
“Seb, you can kill Pat later…” Pierre said, “Where the fuck are we going?”
“We’re going to some place that’s big… you boys are gonna show your 2 fans your moves on skates…” The driver said.
“Really?” Chuck asked, “What moves?”
“Your drums skills, Chuck!” The driver said.
“Oh my god… You should teach me how to play drums Chuck, it’s our dream to be a band… we’re gonna be 2 girls following simple plan!” Kailyn said looking at me and I smiled, “I think Chuck’s my Role Model Seb, no offense but I’d rather play the drums than guitar…”
“It’s cool; Chuck’s a big loser… I hope you don’t end up a big loser like him…” I said and I high fived Pierre, “It’s okay; at least I’m your favourite right?” Kailyn nods at me, “YAY! I’m a loved one!” I look at Pierre and he looked like he wanted to die.
“Dude, are we there yet?” Pierre asked.
“Pierre, Armstrong isn’t that big so we’ll be there soon enough…” Kailyn said and Pierre smiled at her. The old fake smile from a rock star always works on fans that are the happiest just to be meeting us…
“Almost Pierre, it’s right around this corner.” The driver said.
“Okay…” Pierre said and stared out the window, “Hey, is that a pool?” He pointed to something.
“Ya Pierre, that’s the Armstrong pool… it’s not open anymore though…” Nicole said.
“We there yet, dude?” Pierre asked.
“YES!” We all yelled at him.
“Okay, I get it guys! Chill…” Pierre said crossing his arms and looking at the place we were at.
“Where are we anyways?” Pierre asked as we all piled out of the van.
“The old arena Pierre, we still love it even though we have a new one…” Kailyn said laughing with Nicole and we entered the building.
“Hey, it’s Frenchie!” I said and Frenchie came up to us,
Back To Kailyn's fansite for SP
